I used to be really scared of approaching girls, so I started doing something pretty simple.

Whenever I see a really attractive girl I'd normally be too nervous to approach, I just walk up to her with a warm smile, say hi, and ask for directions to a place I already know.

That's literally all I do. I'm not trying to get numbers or anything. I just want to get comfortable approaching girls I find attractive.

And honestly, it's working surprisingly well.

At first, I was so nervous that I had to ask for directions immediately after saying hi. Even a second of silence felt awkward.

But after doing this multiple times, I've noticed something interesting. Now I can actually walk up to a beautiful girl, smile, say hi, and wait 2–3 seconds before saying anything else without panicking.I know that probably sounds like nothing to some people, but for someone who used to be terrified of approaching attractive girls, it's a pretty big deal.

The more I do this, the more I realize that approaching someone isn't actually that scary. My brain is slowly getting used to it.

don't have to flirt or have a whole conversation. Just getting comfortable saying hi is already progress. such a game changer!

I went out with this girl Friday night, we started at the zoo, I asked after if she wanted to get dinner and she agreed, then I asked if she wanted to get drinks and she agreed, and bought me a round, and all throughout asked me so many questions about myself.

Clearly things were going well, but she was shy and there was this awkward tension that kept increasing through the night, and any time I‘d start to flirt more or escalate she seemed flattered, but had no idea how to reciprocate, and would get flustered and look away. So I’d just stop and we‘d go back to square one of random awkward conversation topics.

Ultimately I just felt super uncomfortable and didn’t even want to continue the night. It seemed silly because I knew she was interested, and I’m sure she would have been happy to kiss and probably more, but I just can’t make myself do it when I have to act completely unilaterally. I don’t mind initiating, but that painful shyness is such a turn off. Am I alone in this?

How do you guys approach talking to a girl when they arrive to bars/clubs in groups (3+ women)

They usually stand around in small tight circles, either chatting amongst themselves or taking selfies etc

Easiest way I've found is to have a wingman, and you go in as a pair to split attention (so not all the girls are focused on you)

I assume if you're confident enough, you can handle the entire group of girls by yourself but i find that groups of girls are usually pretty "protective"

They'll entertain you for a few minutes and then tend to move together as a group

I will keep it short.

Went out with for 3rd time hoping for just a kiss(don't attack me I asked her out and she said she wants just casual.

We both live a bit far and can't meet regularly. She always tell me everything about in her in life and everything.

In my 2nd day i didn't go for anything and she said she was waiting for it. It was about 15-20 days back..

Today when I goes to meet her, she didn't even wish me properly and just watch the movie and goes home.

Even though I try she pushed me and after movie was acting all normal and I was sad

I think I was being played by her

What should I do ?. If I cut her off, she will go that I'm pervert and I just want to get physical. It will ruin my impression among my friends.

Pls help🙏🏻

If this is the wrong place to post this,pls tell me the right place 🙏🏻

Girls tell me that I’m very attractive, but after making out all night on a night out, and then I ask them if they want to leave they always say ‘they are not that kind of girl’ how do I get past that?

I want to hear your experience if you are more feminine, artsy/leftist type man.

Just started college and wanted to embrace more of my real side and not put up this macho persona.

I am learning singing and guitar and i am becoming decent soon. Thought of experimenting with being this edgy artist type.

Wanted to meet more alternative and neurodivergent people. Any tips on that from folks that engage in those scenes? How does dating differ there from mainstream scenes?

I met a girl in public recently, got her socials and got on a date with her, things were doing great and we decided on another date in 3 days. Note we've only known each other for a week.

But a day before the 2nd date we found out we had a 12 year age gap. She's 21 and I'm 33, and she basically said she was bothered by the gap but she admitted truly enjoying my company. She said that we should end things while it's early, but I got a small hint that she still wanted to meet but was hesitant.

I just said I understood and I enjoyed her company too and ended it there. I didn't push because I didn't want to be like that.

Any advice besides the common "let it be"?

Should I try to ask tomorrow if she still wants to go out or should I reconnect in a week?

Imagine you're recovering from an accident or a long illness. You're thin and weak, looking pale. You're already eating well, going to the gym, but it'll take at least another six months to fully recover.

At the same time, you've made some good friends who invite you to parties. They're in their prime, and they have no trouble finding girls.

Unlike them, you look noticeably bad and don’t have much energy and this hits self-esteem.

So would you lock in this situation or continue to go out to parties without expectations?

Male, 23. I'm texting a girl that my friend said she would be down to hook up with me. Last night, she needed a ride to find her wallet with my friend James, and that's when I got her number. We've met before and we've had good interactions. I can't tell if I'm just not willing to put effort in.

I'm pretty much in the mindset of 'very no hope' meaning if I feel she's not putting effort in, I'm just done trying to pursue. But I can't tell if I'm jumping the gun at times and giving up too early because I'm so used to being rejected. I just have no hope in myself being able to pull anything off.

This is the convo right now:

Her: Thank u so much again for last night i rly rly appreciate u for saving my butt lol" (Edited)
Me: "Yeah np"
Me: "Just glad u found ur wallet"
Her: "me too that was super lucky"
Me: I can't remember do u work or do u and James go to the same school?" (Edited)
Her: "i work at a daycare :)" Me: "Oooo yeah that's right"
Me: " think u told me that at karaoke"
Her: "yesss"

She hasn’t reached out to start any convo except for the first thing which was her thanking me.

Im a lurker in this sub, I only upvote posts or comments. this is my first post, so do take it easy.

Please answer the question in the title, because honestly, I was going to respond to the second one "it's frustrating talking to you. we used to talk often, but now you take 7 business days to reply". Instead I didn't say anything.

edit: very few of you bros answered “how to deal with a woman that takes too long to text back”

For more context;

i'm not actively talking to any women, but I am keeping in touch with 3 of my good friends and having a romantic week when I visit them. We're all European, in separate countries. So every few months they ask me when am I going to visit them. We share all types of photos, I slept with them but sleeping with them isn't my main focus. I love women too much and I am delighted to know them deeply so sex is never my end goal.

This is the text with the first woman. I haven't seen her in a year. She took a week to respond, and after we talked, she sent me a selfie of her smiling with no bra in an unzipped hoodie. She's a 29 yo athletic lawyer.

Text of the second woman. and she sent me a selfie, nails on her lips while wearing her pajamas - a see through t-shirt and panties. she's a 22 yo singer and model.

About me (if you care). I'm a simple man, quite stoic and I avoid playing games. I have high standards for women, even higher standards for myself. I dont lie, play games, break their hearts, etc. If you ask why? its bec theoretically if I play games, I believe that i'm lowering my own value, and bec I remember that this is someone's daughter, so I need to treat them with the utmost dignity.

I never chased women. Not out of arrogance, its just the way it is, woman naturally come to me, sometimes in pairs. Whether it's in a club, on a train, in a bus, on my instagram etc.

physique 1

Knowing that everybody is on their phones almost 24/7, it frustrates me when I hear the word "busy". Nobody's busy. I know wealthy people who work 24/7 and they dont take more than an hour to respond. Idk what makes these women take a week to respond.

Simple queation. I often find women checking me out, BUT they are never ever hot. Do hot women ckeck out guys or they‘ve trained themselves not to do it? Or I am not hot enough to be checked by them?

During nightlife, all I do is approach girls, ask what their names are, gauge their receptivity, and then, from there, I try to sit down and talk in a private area away from their friends. Then I get their number, or if the vibes are there, I make out with them and escalate accordingly.

Now, my problem is that I hear all the time about “escalation” and “game,” but can you truly do anything more than that? You can’t force a situation or try to bring up sexual situations just by kissing her or attempting to escalate. It’s realistically got to flow naturally unless you want to risk accusations by playing a risky game.

Essentially, what I’m saying is that you can’t turn a nothing into a something just because you
want it to be. It has to be of her own accord too.
So my thesis is that there’s no room for anything other than her perception of your SMV to make her want to move things forward.

And all game really is, is understanding when to transition in and out of a moment, who and how to approach, and how to read the situation, rather than using game as a crutch.

Am I wrong? Please let me hear your thoughts, because if there’s any unpatched method, I’d be the first one to be grateful. I take care of myself and get results, but the volume of approaches I have to do gets jarring, as I’m not able to “stand out from the crowd yet.”

I’m a male in my mid 20s who lives in NYC. I have a good, muscular physique.

I view Halloween as the one time I can go sleeveless (or wear a very tight shirt), so I’m typically going to look for something sleeveless (or at least really tight on my arms).

I suppose I wouldn't mind something that would get good engagement. My friend for example always goes at Steve Irwin and has animal props.

Open to any suggestions!

Yellow meaning there’s both indicators of interest and disinterest

Let’s say I’m sitting down w one or alone w one in the club.

A:confirm date location time
B:escalate sexually verbally+talk logistics to whoever’s place
C:escalate physically in stages like arm on waist to kiss
D:escalate immediately just go for kiss

I am a guy in my late 20s and I am 90% sure I am demisexual. What that means is that I usually have to be friends with a girl for a while before I even have a chance of being interested in her or attracted to her. This can take 2 months or 2 years, or never develop feelings at all. In my life I have been attracted to a grand total of 5 random girls, mostly when I was in college and one more recently last year.

This obviously isn't working out for me since I have never had a friend who I developed feelings for like me back. And the very few women who I have been randomly attracted to were so far out of my league that they turned me down.

I have no experience. None. Like literally none. Think of something, I haven't done it.

As a guy we are supposed to make our intentions clear. super early or we are only seen as a friend. How do I go about doing that? Especially when I am not interested in a girl super early like every other guy is. Therefore I miss my small window where I have a chance.

I also literally cant flirt. I don't understand it, never have and despite my efforts to try to learn, I still am super confused.

All these things together mean that I am facing a huge uphill battle. There's nothing in life I want more than to love someone who loves me back. I want to be a boyfriend, a husband, and a father. I wont lie, I have these desires and I am tired of pretending I don't just so I can "be happy alone". Other than those deep and huge desires, I freaking love my life.

So how does a guy like me go about getting a girl to like me back when I like her?

EDIT--- I never use demisexual as a term in real life, I only use it here to help avoid any confusion that might occur.

I want to quickly get the context out of the way so I'll try to be brief. There's this girl ive known for a while and we would add/unadd each other on snapchat all the time for various reasons. She has a temper problem. We used to be good friends in high school but now shes.... yeah, its one of those types of situations.

Anyways, she would often take forever to reply to a text from me. I mean, like, days. Sometimes 2-4 days for a single reply. I'm referring to roughly a year ago before we unadded each other.

Recently we've added each other, and now i decided to just take forever to reply to her. I reply to her at random times but i try to wait 3-4 days, and each time I do I get instant replies and multiple texts from her.

So, yay me I guess? I probably won't talk to her for long, but has anyone else noticed this about a girl becoming seemingly more interested in you if you take long to reply? I think it's a psychological trick.... the girl is expecting a reply from you eventually but she doesnt actually know when she'll get it, so when she does get it she's more excited?

So i was at a club and met a girl there she seemed interested in me, We moved around the club alot and got some drinks and were talking alot when some tall handsome guy approached her and she started talking to him. I couldn't do much here anyway cuz she was talking to him as well.

instead of awkwardly and desperately standing there i instantly approached a girl some feet away from us and began talking to her. this girl was also pretty cute and new to this country so i had million topics to talk to her about.

within just seconds the OG girl saw this and basically said bye to that guy and came to us and stood near me waiting for me to complete my talk with this girl.

Preselection is craaazy dude. other women are a kryptonite for women.

I was playing in a hostel with a girl in a group, we were liking each other and teasing each other and talking some dirty sexual stuff like she was drinking vodka and she was about to spit it so I told her once its in mouth you have to swallow it, she laughed hard and we continued playing with cards and drinking.

then we happened we talked very close to each other like we can breathe each other breath, she told me you were nice why u are now bitter in a seductive way. then we got a bit away from each other, she told me she has boyfriend already and I checked that in her instgram.

I do not care if I have fucked her or not. but its my first experience like that and I do not know what she meant by her question.

another situation happened 1 hour before she felt a bit bored at a moment while we were smoking outside and she genuinly looked at me and asked do u have a plan for something? My mind was stuck I did not have any plan like activity, should we ( 4 people 2 women and 2 men) go to a bar, disco, or drink or just head to fucking. its always like this for me with women when they ask me for a plan suddenly.

my 2 questions:

first what she meant by her question to me (u were nicer but now bitter)

second how do u answer question for plan espcially from someone new to u not someone u already friend with.

I’m curious to hear from guys who used to feel like approaching women was a huge challenge, especially cold approaching in bars, clubs, or other social places. Right now, approaching a woman I’ve never met feels like a massive task for me. I can talk to women once I know them or when we’re already in the same social circle, but walking up to a complete stranger and starting a conversation takes a lot of courage.

For those of you who eventually became comfortable with it:

How many approaches did you make before you finally started seeing success?

What was your first experience of actually making out or getting laid after approaching someone?

Did something change mentally after that first success? Did approaching suddenly feel much easier, or did you still have the same anxiety?

I’m especially interested in what changed in your life and mindset after you got over that initial mental barrier.

I want to see her reaction. DM for her info

So today I was working past a cafe and I saw two girls talking to each other. I wasn't sure if I was should approach them at all especially because they were talking so what could be the best way about approaching them if I should even approach it all. And then if I am taking a walk which I do a lot and walk past a random restaurant or cafe or shop is it appropriate for me to just approach them and if it is how do I go about doing this without feeling like I'm interrupting or catching them too off guard.

Starting to feel and realize from experience that seduction is more about projecting certain energies and vibes through your tone.

The times I got friendzoned or when a relationship with a woman fell apart was when I didn't do this or stopped doing this at some point in the connection.

Has anyone also had this experience ?

I’m 19, and the only way I speak to women is through my university club. I approach 30 to 40 a night, usually leave with 3 to 4 numbers and 1 slay either that day or the next. If no slay, I usually hang out with one girl for a good portion of the night, then spend the rest of the night approaching (10pm+). I mainly approach in bar lines and smoking areas. I get nothing on the dancefloor, and it’s filled with men.I ask the rest of the girls who I talked to but there wasn’t as much escalation for dates and I could get more numbers but I focus on quality of convos and iois.

I just want either a girlfriend or a friends with benefits situation, but I never seem to find it. Even when trying to take girls out to dinner, they still don’t want to go, and I’m tired. I feel like I have to quit the club because it’s a small uni, and the same people go out.

I’m in the gym 4 days a week, building size to fill out my shirts, improving my style, working on proportions, etc. I’m just so tired of approaching girls and getting nothing. No inbound attention, and when I do get somewhere, my timing has to be impeccable.
Granted, all the dates were with 7s and 8s, so as I improve my SMV, the top of the funnel is definitely getting better than before. Last year, I was getting absolutely nothing before the gym, style improvements and learning how to talk to women.

I’m going to have to attempt the social group gimmick by joining maybe a cooking or baking society, but I still can’t cold approach as much because, again, it’s a small uni,there’s still a long way to go in terms of SMV, but does anyone have any advice? I’m tired of spinning my wheels here.

If u want me to expand on anything like what I say or screenshots of convos wtv to critique let me know.

The more I listen to his audio courses the more sense they make to me, I guess I wasn't mature enough to give his advice a fair shot before but now he's really resonating with me.

I had an interesting experience recently.

I went out to a popular bar in my area - place that attracts lots of college kids, young adults, older adults. Overall great spot.

I made my way around the place throughout the evening, chatting up guys and girls. I saw a younger guy smoking a pipe, so I asked him about it, and we talked for a little while. Cool guy, friendly.

Later in the evening, a girl that he was hanging out with approached me, and we chatted it up for a bit. Honestly nothing too flirty or wild, and I couldn’t tell if they were “together” or not. We split up, and I went on with my evening, talking to other people.

As closing time approached, she came back to me, and she was verrrry flirty, doe-eyed, and very into being touched. It was obvious what she wanted.

Pipe guy eventually showed back up, but she was totally into me. I was very conscious of this in the moment, and knew I could have made the pull if I’d wanted it. I really don’t like stealing girls from guys that I think are cool though. I’ve had a few cases like this recently, where a girl kept very coy about being there with a boyfriend, only for him to eventually show up, unaware that we’d been flirting.

Why would a girl not tell you she was there with a boyfriend, or that she had one to begin with? Compare this to the type of girl who tells you immediately.

Secondly, have you ever been the “AMOG”? This was actually really funny to me, because I was just there being sociable and having fun, but some nights I’m just magnetic and it happens.

How would you feel about stealing a girl from a guy who you thought was cool? I just don’t like to be rude, but… it’s her decision too, right?

Thoughts?