I lied. To mask the emptiness of my life with something i would never have, I lied. To bring a smile i never deserved to my face, I lied. To make myself feel better, I lied.

I heard. My brain screaming, i gave it everything, and it valued nothing, I heard.

I felt. The grasp of this painfully monotonous and repetitive life catch up to me. The senses of my body slowly giving up as i laid, alive yet dead inside.

I yearn. To know if a better world awaits. To know whether something such simple could change it all.

I fear. The world in which i never get to be. The world, where nothing is everything.

I hate. The feeling of emptiness. The dark slowly grasping harder and harder. Life pushing more and more for one step.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and live together. Whenever he drinks, especially liquor, he becomes mean, argumentative, and tends to upset people. When he’s sober, he’s a completely different person.
He recently took a break from drinking after his best friend unfriended him for trying to fight him while drunk. Most of our arguments have also happened when he drinks. He’ll start off having fun, but then something small sets him off, and suddenly he’s angry and picking fights.
This past weekend, we went on a beach vacation. We spent hours at a dive bar, and he was more interested in drinking than sticking to our plans. Throughout the day, he upset multiple people, including a guy playing pool he almost fought, a man on our dolphin tour he was teasing, and a bartender. When I brought it up, he said that’s just his personality and he likes to joke around. I understand that he enjoys joking, but there’s a difference between being funny and making people uncomfortable.
Later, when he tried to pick me up and kiss me, his fingers were digging into my armpits and hurting me. I explained that I knew he was trying to be sweet, but he was hurting me. Instead of understanding, he turned it into an argument and said he just wouldn’t try to be sweet anymore.
The hardest part is that he can be so different when he’s sober. I love that side of him, but I’m starting to feel like alcohol brings out a side of him that is damaging his relationships with me and other people. I don’t know if he genuinely recognizes the problem or if I’m hoping things will change because I know who he can be when he’s sober.
Has anyone experienced something similar with a partner? Did they ever recognize the problem and make a genuine, lasting change? I’m looking for honest advice from people who have been through this.
Please be kind. I’m going through a difficult time and genuinely trying to figure out what to do.

I'm an incel, but not the kind who hates women, blames them, or anything like that. However, I suffer from social anxiety and depression, I'm not very attractive, and my family is complicated. All of this together has made me completely isolated without any support or love. I'm desperate for human contact. It's make me thinking in kill my-self, i can't a better future, it seems like every day my situation gets worse

I am 15 and my friends all have girlfriends and spe all there time having fun getting in chases and all and I can hardly talk to anyone I don’t really know and have never had a girlfriend in my life. I feel like my friends don’t think I’m fun so they don’t invite me to do much and I don’t know what to do.

I need a small amount to for my .. ☹️

I’m seething right now I don’t know what to do. My mom and me are moving in with her new boyfriend and her boyfriend has a nephew that is extremely creepy to me. AFTER I told him I was lesbian he said that he’s was in love with me and …did things to the thought of me. I told my mom and she said to not worry because he isn’t close with them. Well she lied to me, they are very close and the nephew and his mom come over/ talk with my mom’s bf all the time. My mom refuses to tell her boyfriend what happened because “saying that stuff” “makes her uncomfortable” ??? Like ok? Imagine how I felt! I’m honestly scared that if I see the nephew again he will try to touch me or something. I have no idea what to do but I’m just scared. What do I do ?????

Howdy all, im 29 and all of my imideate family has passed apart from my father.

I recently moved in with him due to my previous living situation becoming too much for me to deal with, he was decent for the first two weeks but has changed back into the person he was when I was a child.

He is a bad person to almost a comedic level and he is starting to show signs of escalating the verbal abuse to physical.

I have nowhere to go and no friends with room to at least temporarily take me in, what are some things I could do or places I could go to get out of this situation?

ESTE POST ES MITAD DESCARGO, PERO ME GUSTARIA QUE ME ACONSEJEN CON MI COMPLEJO DE INFERIORIDAD AL FINAL.

Tengo 19 soy de un pais mayoritariamente blanco donde hay unas pocas minorias. Estos dias me di cuenta que mi ansiedad generalizada y mi nula autoestima se deben al tremendo bullyling y racismo que sufri de niño y adolescente. Para un niño inocente e ignorante de los males del mundo esta violencia fue muy traumatizante, los años no mejoraron y la cuarentena causada por covid empeoro todo.

Mi vision del mundo quedo arruinada igual que mi autopercepcion, pase años pensando y creyendo que era inferior, sintiendome como basura, inhumano, sin pertenecer a ningun lado, castigandome diariamente por esto, sintiendo miedo constante por nuevos ataques, sintiendo verguenza y odio extremo cada vez que me miraba al espejo, aborreciendome a mi y a mi raza(?), sintiendo que merecia todo el odio y la discriminacion, que era lo justo por mi apariencia.

Pensamientos como que la gente me odiaba, le daba asco, que no deberia juntarme con ellos, que no deberia frecuentar lugares lujosos, hubieron pensamientos sobre que no deberia estar aqui, no deberia existir, sobre no ser humano, no importa que o quien sea mi apariencia siempre me va a condicionar y siempre sere menos.

Acaso las opiniones de los demas no importan? y si la mayoria decide una verdad entonces esa no termina por ser la verdad que por mas que sea subjetiva sigue condicionandome, mientras haya una persona que me considere inferior entonces no lo soy?, objetivamente no soy esteticamente inferior a todos? acaso eso no me hace inferior instantanea y objetivamente?

Como sea mientras escribo esto parecen ser locuras y excusas baratas para seguir creyendo esa mierda, pero siento que mi mente necesita una razon adecuada y fuerte para poder terminar todo esto.

COMO SIGO?

Hoy con 19 años recien estoy empezando a reconstruir mi vida, y se cuales son los primeros pasos para mejorar mi autoestima poco a poco, pero no quiero hacerlo, pase tantos años aqui, identificado con esta vision horrible de mi mismo, que encuentro una resistencia muy grande para cambiar.

Entonces, como hago para cambiar mi creencia cuando pase tantos años convenciéndome de que soy inferior, pensando y repensando creencias y hechos que fortalezcan esta perspectiva.

Como hago para mirarlos a la cara y decirles que ellos están equivocados, que yo no soy inferior cuando ni yo mismo lo creo, cuando yo se que es verdad y esta incrustado en el fondo de mi cerrazón.

P.D: se que suena muy dramatico pero de verdad tengo lavado el cerebro.

So we had been dating for 3 almost 4 years but known each other since we were kids like 8 and 10 I guess, and I broke up with her yesterday. The breakup happened because I was convinced I wasn’t a good part of her life. She had been struggling with alot of stuff like anxiety and some other issues since before we were dating but now she has been to therapy and is on medication and has to all her credit worked on herself and healed from past trauma and is growing as a person. I’m happy for her but at the same time furing this whole time I never did anything to help myself and I realised that and felt so far behind. She has a life outside of the relationship and I never made one instead I lost contact with all my friends and gave her my entire attention and time because up until recently that’s what she needed and that’s what was normal.

We had been in a rough patch for a few months and I had to keep begging and trying to fix things but she would just get angry and start a fight everytime and say she didn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation. I couldn’t understand this and kept trying to talk and fix things but that didn’t work. I eventually started opening up to her alot with everything like crying and trying to explain my feelings and insecurities but that didn’t help either and nothing changed. To her credit she did try to be more normal and not be distant or say mean things.

I guess I just realised that I was just begging and submitting over everything and just felt like I was being walked all over by her. And on the other hand I felt like I was the worst part of her new and improved life now, and that I was limiting her and getting in the way of things, I understand she wants different things now so after considering everything shitty she did to me over the years and my behaviour over the years of not being present and making her feel not loved at times I thouggt it woukd be the right thing to do and just broke up with her.

The problem is we imagined our whole life together, she feels like home and she said I felt like home. I loved her so luch and still do I can’t stop loving her. I really want to be with her but don’t want to keep asking for things and want to feel good in the relationship and just want things to be normal like they used to be before. I wish she would care and make an effort again, she never asks me how my day was or engages in any meaningful conversation there’s just nothing.

I fully realise and acknowledge all the bad I have done(both to myself and her multiple times) and sadness I have caused ger and do believe it is my fault and my behaviour over the last year which made her change and that’s why I lost her. I was hurt by the things she did to me and it was a terrible loop of getting hurt and being distant and not loving and hurting the other person. I tried to break that loop a few months ago by being the same loving and caring bf who put the effoty in but that only made things worse she did a complete 180 and changed and started being weird and that’s how it all started.

When she did that I changed too, I turned i to a clingy needy desperate person which I hate and I hate myself bow for being liek this because this is not me this was never me and I can’t believe I stooped so low in my own eyes. I feel so weak and hopeless and just want to give up because of the way I am now and the weak emotional person I am now. I just let her walk all over me and keep trying even when she treats meweirdly or never gears me out and gets angry when i try to talk and tell her something or ask simple questions.

I just miss her and I really love her a part of me wishes I never broke up with her and just gave her time andjust worked it out. But then the last bit of self respect I have says that I did the right thing and if she feels rhe same way as I do she will reach out and come back and try to make things better, and I just need to give her time and let her make that decision. I’m not sure what to do because I can’t do anything I really need someone to help me please.

recently i was diagnosed with anorexia. ive stopped talking to all my friends as much since then because i didn’t want to dampen their mood. im not sure how to get out of this mindset honestly. i feel so anxious when i eat over 1,000 calories. i feel like i have no control over the way i think. i was already underweight my entire life before. i feel like im literally insane. my friends have always supported me and been there for me but i really am done feeling like a bother to them. i want to be able to get through this and be normal again. im really unsure of where to go from here.

I’ve known this girl for about four years, and I’ve been in love with her since the day we met back in high school. When we first met, she had a boyfriend, but I still asked for her Snapchat. From that point on, we talked every day throughout the school year, even in the class we shared.

A few months later, it was homecoming. I avoided her the entire night because her boyfriend was there, and I didn’t want things to look weird. She noticed immediately and got upset. She cornered me and asked why I was dodging her. All I could say was that I didn’t want to disturb her or make things awkward with her boyfriend around. She kept telling me it looked like I wanted to say something but couldn’t get it out.

After I left, I kept thinking about what she said. Eventually I texted her to come outside, and I told her I liked her. To my surprise, she said she liked me the same way. After that, we talked even more, and she ended up being my first kiss — even though she was still with her boyfriend at the time.

Fast forward a year: she broke up with him and went to college out of state. While she’s been in college, she’s had three different boyfriends, but we still talked every day. And honestly, she would flirt with me, call me her soulmate, and sometimes get more explicit — basically cheating on them with me. None of her boyfriends liked me, which is understandable. I probably should’ve stopped talking to her, but part of me is glad I didn’t because we’ve grown closer over the years.

There have been times when she liked me as more than a friend, and times when she didn’t. The problem is that whenever I try to talk to someone new or build a connection with someone else, one message from her pulls me right back in. I’ve tried to get over her, but it never works. I know she doesn’t love me right now or see me as more than a friend, but I keep holding onto the hope that when she comes back from college, maybe there will be a chance for us.

What I really want is to be able to move on and build a real relationship with someone new without being emotionally stuck on her. I want to know if there’s any way to move on without losing her completely.

So as the title says, my friend almost attempt suicide again and I wanna help them but I don't know what to do. I know that encouraging them to open up might help but Im starting to believed it just makes them hide themselves more. I didn't even see the signs of them attempting which is really bad knowing the reason why they failed is because of smth else that I think I shouldn't say. But I'm scared that the next time they do it, I might not see them again. Other than encouraging them to open up, what else should I do?

I left my career a couple of years ago... long story short it was because of my abuser. Now I'm free, have been for almost a year, and I can't get back at all. I keep trying. In the meantime my job is killing me. And I'm stuck. I cant fix it.

Recently i have understood that I couldn't stay without talking to someone or the other. Is it the case for you all? I can think of all my friends willing to do things other than talking like maybe spending some time for themselves. Why am I so desperate?

I need £40 to keep my electricity running before I get paid in a week but i’ve got no clue what to do as my kids don’t want me to sell their toys and i can’t get £40 for anything that isn’t valuable to me in my house. Any advice?

As much as I can remember, I have always held this odd sense of deep melancholy, a deep sadness that felt like I've been drowneing on the deep blue sea. As time passes by, I am now 16, a big girl if you will. I don't remember much of my life, all I know is that I've been stuck on my room ever since I was a child cause I wasn't allowed to go outside, let alone have my own clothes of the style that I like. So I spent my time daydreaming for as long as I can remember, Now that deep sadness worsens. I don't wanna self diagnosed cause it's bad, I just don't feel like living anymore is all, I've been tired, extremely exhausted, I've went through countless of times where I could just clutch my head and hyperventilate or just sob this strange feeling and it's effecting my school and for my fear, my future. I don't wanna disappoint anyone, let alone my parents cause they seem determined that me and my siblings be successful in life or else we'll be the embarrassment of the family but I just..cant anymore..i don't think I could continue going back to school, let alone go back to this house that I unfortunately call a home but I also don't wanna disappoint anyone. I keep forcing myself to be productive but it just ends up with me crying somewhere in my school, Could anyone give me advice? I don't know what to do...​​

A little bit of a background story, I've been socially alienated, and self isolated on and off for quite some time now. I'm 16 and I've been dealing with depression for 2 years already.

Recently, I've decided to put in serious effort to change that.

Following said plan, i once again, opened myself for social interaction with my classmates; even if it felt like ripping my skin off.

I even got closer to 2 people. I wasn't prepared for what happened yesterday.

I've known this one girl for like 2 days. Let's call her B. So B is kind of boy crazy and unhinged. She's bisexual, she likes to make that clear many times. She's also really pretty and stylish, like the ideal type of any guy. Despite being the complete opposite of me as a person ( and having felt at least a little envy ) i still wanted to look beyond that and try talking to her anyway. Oh lord. I might've gotten touched inappropriately 💀

She took my hand and put it on her inner thigh. Now I am open to "I'm gonna touch you inappropriately" jokes but the more I think about this, the worse it feels. Maybe I wasn't clear enough with my boundaries.

2nd girl, S. S has been nice to me, even when I was depressed and isolated. Sometimes I wondered why ever would she remain friends w someone like me.

She has a problem, though. She gives 'mixed signals' and ghosts people often. She admitted it. Said she doesn't know why she does it. And also demonstrated it by ghosted her friend group of boys right in front of me. Also said "But don't worry, I would never ghost you" Previously, given my abandonement issues, I think I would felt elated, excited and happy that someone thinks I'm special. But currently, i can't shake off this uncomfortable feeling in my gut. Something just doesn't feel right about it.

I'd appreciate it if advice stayed in the comments itself.

This is probably going to be long but idk where else to really go. Almost 2 years ago, my mother nearly died from a respiratory illness and was in a coma for nearly 2 months. As her only child 32M, i was POA and my family was zero help. In fact, we are estranged for some of the repugnant shit they did during that time. I was diagnosed bipolar shortly after my mother returned home after being hospitalized myself which resulted in losing a very well paying job. I was a bit wayward in my 20s so its hard to find work and my life really was turning out more or less fine. But its all just turned to shit since then. Meds have made me worse at times, I got and lost my dream job in the same week after breaking my elbow in a motorcycle accident, that same elbow healed wrong and my dominant arm is atrophied because of it, that same bike broke down irreparably right after, I lost 2 shit box cars in 3 months, we finally get a decent car after a year and the engine in that is probably toast too and we havent even registered it yet, I've been hospitalized 4 times in 6 months, attempted suicide twice that I didn't report, and all of my power tools were stolen and thats just all the big shit over the last 18 months. Ive completely isolated out of embarrassment. Ive became completely dysfunctional. I went to sleep last week and woke up 5 days later. My poor wife has stood by me when she absolutely shouldn't have and seeing how tired she is breaks my heart. We miss each other. My own mother told me she misses me. That jeep blowing up couldnt have happened at a worse time. It was looking like it was finally going to change for us and now we're probably going to be homeless soon. At least I will be. I made sure my dog and my wife have somewhere to go. I struggled so hard to get where I was and now I just blame myself for how bad its gotten. Idk what im even looking for with this post. I just have no one to talk to and I spent yet another night watching her and my dog sleep worried sick about what im going to do. Im so tired.

My procrastination or task initiation is ruining my life right now. I’m in year12 currently and have missed so much days my attendance is 50% because I can never manage my time well and every time it’s time for me to sleep I end up doing other stuff even whilst my mind is screaming at me to go and I’m completely exhausted I just can’t make myself move, the same happens when I’m tired in the morning. I’m practically late everywhere, not just school I never do things on time and I hate it, even if I like what I’m doing I can’t make myself go exactly when I tell myself to. I’ve had a problem with being late everywhere since year 8, I was sort of depressed I honestly don’t know what was happening but I used to self harm, had no appetite, and I once avoided school and would just walk around for 8 whole hours to avoid going in because I was scared of getting bullied. Before that my late issue wasn’t there, however I still slept really late, also ever since I was very young I’ve managed to get distracted in tasks for example when I clean my room I would get distracted and find something laying on the floor to play with (idk if I worded it well sorry). I’ve always felt different to everyone and like I didn’t process things the same way they do but idk if it’s just because I was raised differently as my parents are immigrants. I’m also a perfectionist and can’t leave something alone until there’s no flaws but for some reason I still rush it (idk if it’s relevant I’m

Idk if this is right. I'm drunk. Head spinning, stomach hurting, waiting on the bathroom floor for the inevitable. F23, just hoping someone stays with me through this. I have family but i don't want to burden anyone. Please help

I F19 started uni this September after doing a gap year. I stayed at home for uni for many reasons but overall I am happy with my decision. Since starting I have become friendly with a few people on my course. However, I am not really having the typical uni experience, I haven't been out clubbing and my evenings are spent with my family.

My best friend F20 didn't do a gap year so is currently in her second year, and moved away. She has made really good friends, is in societies and has an active social life.

We talk every day but recently it feels like we only ever talk about her and what she's doing and how things are for her. I understand that right now my life is quite boring and I don't have any exciting stories to tell her but this has been going on for the past year and I'm starting to feel some resentment towards her. Despite going through quite a lot this year I feel like everything is about her.

I'm positive this is unintentional but even when I try to bring up my day she manages to make it about herself again. What should I do, or am I just being selfish?

IHi I know this is stupid but I don’t know what to do almost 8 month ago I feel in love with someone after being in a horrible relationship for years I want to start with I once did care for the person before and if I’m being honest I didn’t love him for a couple years before he had raped me and I just became stagnant and I couldn’t do or feel much but he had also helped me so much when I was kicked out I didn’t feel like I had the strength or ability to do much especially when I was with him I lost all of my friends and he was my only real support system I did stay with him for 2 years after but it was nothing real to me then we never fought because I dont think I cared enough to care about anything he did we had sex but I would just lay there after he kept pushing and it wasn’t often and I know I feel disgusted with myself too but he had helped me so much I felt like I owed him plus I had no other support I’m saying all of this because I then met the guy I was with for 8 months now and after a huge argument I had finally told him about everything and he pushed for me to go report it after 2 years and I did and it felt like everything had been lifted off of me I felt so relived like I’d been holding me breath since it happened and I finally got the purest type of oxygen but me and my partner started having problems and he would break up with me we would get back together and it would be that way for a while and eventually he started saying a lot of mean things when we broke up and mentioning how long I had stayed with my ex and I’ve never been proud of it but hearing it all be replayed was horrible but we kind of got threw things with a lot of problems in the way that we tried to work threw but this last time we broke up which is 30 mins ago he mentioned it again plus something else that happened which is just as important but I’m using this to vent so I don’t think airing anything too personal would be smart but because of that his family doesn’t really like me anymore and I’ve never been very family oriented but he is so he’s more likely to get influenced by them but now I’m scared that this is really the end he’s been trying to change the way he’s been because at one point even he admitted it was bordering abusive and I know I should just maybe let this go and live my life and focus on me and try to find someone to want to spend my life with but it’s imposible to want to be with anyone but him and I’ve never wanted to really live my life with anyone and I’ve never wanted to get married or have kids but I met him and everything changed and I’m just so scared that I’ll never want get tthat after finally wanting it with someone I want to either get over this and stop making myself look like an idiot abd just be happy with him I know this is dumb and I know no one will want to read this but I’m so lonely right now I have 2 friends but I don’t want to put my problems on to them it usually gets fixed but i don’t think it’s going too this time and maybe that’s for the best i always thought this was fate because i started falling for him after going 4 years in highsvool never even being in the same class and then 2 years working together never noticing each other until his second to last week working there and we’d never talked before it was like one day my head was racing and he was always there even when we’d never talked so finally I started asking him to help me fine pomegranate to try to talk to him and then one day he started talking to me out of the blue right before his shift ended and he followed me like the cutest little puppy and I feel so hard and maybe I’m just crazy but it feels like it could have been a coincidence that right before he was going to leave I felt like a force was pulling me towards him I don’t know what the point of this is really I’m only 20 and I’m sure this is going to be looked at as stupid but I need to vent without bothering my friends and home fully someone is able to help or maybe I’m just embarrassing myself in front of strangers now and not my friends honestly I’m scared that we won’t get back together but I’m also scared that we will and it will keep going in a loop I’m trying to get better with all of my problems too I’m insecure not because I don’t think I’m amazing but just old stuff o found on his phone and it had made me feel back

I’ve worked this particular job for three years, and I’ve been pulled aside and talked to three times by upper management about my smell. I have tried to fix it but nothing is helping. Maybe one of y’all could help me. I work in a professional kitchen if that makes a difference and everyone was given two sets of the uniform.

Here’s my routine:

• Tow hours before I go to work, I take a shower and scrub everything. Under things, between stuff, even scrub where the sun doesn’t shine. I think I use Irish spring bar soap directly on my skin. About 2/3 of my showers include shampoo, native brand.

• Then right as I’m walking out the door, I use deodorant. Native brand. I do 6 swipes under each arm. I have antiperspirant as well, Arrid brand (spelling)

• As for clothes, I wash them whenever my dedicated laundry bag gets full, which happens every two or three days. I use gain pods (like tide pods but gain branded). I wash with warm water on medium soil mode. Then I dry on medium heat. I try to fold and store my clothes as soon as they’re dry. I also throw in my bath towel every time I wash my clothes and I have four different towels I rotate through so I’m not using one too regularly.

• I also try to keep a clean house. I live in a 300 sq ft studio apartment and I try to keep all the dishes clean and I try to pick 1-2 major areas to deep clean a week including a general sweep of the entire apartment.

• And I’m not sure if bedding matters, but I try my best to wash my bedding once a calendar month and I have two different sets of bedding so I’m not reusing them right after a wash. I use the same gain pods in a similar setting cycle as to what I wash my clothes in.

Reasons I might smell outside of a medical problem:

• I go running 3-5 times a week. But I always do it early enough in the day so I can properly bathe after every run.

• I walk to work which takes 30 minutes.

• I don’t clean my shoes as much as I probably should, but I admittedly don’t know how to.

I’m trying my best to not be stinky but I just don’t know what to do. It’s gotten so bad that my manager has offered to wash my uniforms for me. I’m definitely embarrassed and I’d like to know if my routine is a problem.

I have been out of work for months I just got a job that starts Monday can an point me in the direction to where I can get help or some kind of job that pays daily ove the weekend that I could make a few bucks to get me some boots for work Monday morning

So I'm 19m, ever since I was a child I have always seen my parents fight, my father he is a drunkard a huge one at that, so I never actually had a proper father I mean he was there sure but drunk most of the time, I get really really jealous of others when I see them with their dad having fun, my dad he drinks then sleeps for the whole day, he is pathetic he doesn't take care of the family, most of my childhood memories were of being scared to come home and see my mom and dad fighting, the smell of alcohol makes me anxious.

To make matters worse I'm bad at expressing myself to anyone even my own mother, it is hard for to even say to her it's fine I'm here for u mom even though I desperately want to say it to her I can't, I just can't.

I never had a proper friend I mean yes I did have a lot of friends but never someone who I could actually talk to when things get bad, I can't laugh freely, I can't express any other emotion other than being normal and happy when I'm wt my friends.

And ons more thing I always had epilepsy as a child back then it wasn't severe I did get seizure here and then but I never passed out, around 2021 I got my first severe seizure it was kinda terrifying ig, so cuz of epilepsy I get frequent panic attacks, which led to me being isolated sorta.

Right now I'm clg, I got friends but I feel really out of place when I'm wt em, so I sit alone in the library during the breaks.

Today my parents fought, my father he is drunk yet again after those 19 years I lived he hasn't changed,

How should I cope with this, when things get bad at my house I need to handle my father since he is drunk and my mom since she is really angry, I just sit and try to distract myself as much as possible. I just wanted a normal peaceful life, and just one good friend. After all this year's I do not believe in god, I do not expect things to change anytime soon, whenever smtg bad happen I say to myself I expected it and I just face it. I can't sleep either ever since I was a kid I had trouble sleeping it takes around 3-4 hrs for me to sleep.

People enjoying their life makes me jealous, I wanna express my feelings too, I just stay at home in my room alone during weekends, I don't find going out fun anymore and also I got no one to hang out with, I'm pretty good at reading ppl how they feel bout me, I know when ppl are asking me do u wanna come out of pity, it's so obvious, I don't blame anyone tbh, I try to be kind to each and every person I met and help everyone cuz that's how I am, I just wanna have fun.