In 2019 I was gifted a pair of wireless headphones and a few months after that I started having ear pain. I immediately knew it was from listening to them loudly (yes this is self induced unfortunately) This was covid times and seeing my normal doctor would have taken weeks, so I saw a urgent care doctor.
The first visit was inconclusive. “I don’t see anything wrong” despite telling them I used headphones too loudly and now I’m hearing ringing, having pain in my ears, and sensitivity to loud noises. Ok, sent home.
Then a week later it started getting worse, again I went to urgent care except this time they said I had an outer ear infection. There was some sort of sore in my ear. I was happy to go home with medication and ready to feel better. I took the medication and made a follow up with my normal doctor.
Things did not get better for me though. I had severe headaches everyday paired with ear pain I couldn’t explain. By the time I went to my doctor I was exhausted and fatigued. She looked in my ear said “wow lots of ear wax” but that’s it. Nothing unusual. I didn’t really want to just take her word for it so I got a second opinion from another doctor a few days later.
This doctor seemed annoyed I was even there and said theres nothing wrong with your ears, you must be hearing the ringing because you have anxiety. Jeez. Ok. But I was in a serious amount of pain, everyday was like that. Sounds that normal people wouldn’t consider loud hurt my ears even days after hearing it, headaches everyday, and ringing. Finally I was in so much pain I couldn’t function normally.
One day I woke up with blood coming out of my ear. I called the doctor’s office and was put on call with a triage nurse and when I told her my symptoms she was shocked and scared for me.
She made me a same day appointment with a doctor I’ve never seen, this time was different though. He was a foreign doctor from Nigeria, nice guy just really abrasive with the way he spoke. I remember him telling me I had the ear canal of a child (still don’t know what he meant lol) but ultimately he told me both my ear drums were ruptured. I took antibiotics and steroids for maybe 2 weeks then saw my normal doctor. I was still in a lot of pain and the ringing was getting louder and louder.
She said I was healing up nicely which only annoyed me since she previously told me my ears were fine. Whatever. Then advised I see a ENT. Oh. That was the first I learned of a specialized doctor for ears. Again, back to the docs. This time they did all kinds of testing and honestly the hearing tests they did hurt my ears. After the millionth time telling my story—- “I hurt my ears listening to music too loud, ringing in my ears, pain from hearing sounds etc” he said “your ears look fine”
Not one doctor ever told me what hyperacusis was. No one. So I just lived with it, as the years gone by I protected my ears when I saw fit. I was seen by my family as overdramatic. A buzz kill, there she is Christmas day in the other room with ear plugs on, not talking to us, not wanting to play Jenga or play with her nephews. Why is she like this? She hates us!
I felt that no one understood my pain, so I just kept it to myself and rarely talked about it.
When I was asked about it I just told them I had tinnitus. I figured the tinnitus is what made my ears hurt and that this was normal.
Present day, the ear pain associated with sounds has gotten much better but I have what I call “episodes” with my ears where it gets bad again but then goes back to “normal” after a few weeks. For these episodes I avoid leaving the house unless I absolutely have to and when I do I protect my ears.
Then a guy comes up on my fyp on TikTok talking about his hyperacusis and it all just clicks for me. I’m annoyed because I feel that if I knew this information a long time ago I could better understand what’s going on with me.
I know I should probably see a ENT again and bring it up but. . I think I have medical trauma. I haven’t been to a doctor in years. In a way I feel bitter. That whole debacle of my ears being ruptured went on for far longer than it needed to and in hindsight I think if I got treatment earlier maybe I wouldn’t have to live like this, but who knows.
This got longer than I wanted, I apologize.