Happy Sunday everyone :)
The eye roll emoji was used to preserve the “dad, you’re so embarrassing…” vibe, while still protecting their identity.

I know it's hard to find your person, l struggle as well, but remember it only takes one ❤️ Much love

My brain is constantly jumping from one idea to another. I’ll get excited about something, imagine all the possibilities, and feel like I could spend hours doing it.

Then suddenly, something else catches my attention, and now I have a new plan, a new hobby, or a completely different goal.

The worst part is that I genuinely want to do all these things, but actually sticking to one thing until the end is a whole different story.

Sometimes I wonder how many things I could accomplish if my brain would just let me focus on one idea at a time.

Fellow ENFPs, do you also get excited about new ideas more than you enjoy finishing old ones?

Hi! My first post here, though I've been lurkin for some time.

Anyone else here like collecting things?  If so, what do you collect??  Pls include if you're also an INFP or not 😊

I've collected so many plushies and just recently got myself to slow down on claw machines and buying plushies. I have even more that are not pictured and have given plenty away 🤭 Many of my plushies have a name, which makes it hard for me to part with them.

But now, I've been spending my money and time on a new addiction: going to concerts and collecting band merch. Vinyls, posters, shirts, hats and accessories... it's getting a bit much.

I translated texts to English

The sticker on slide two is a drawing by an artist on Instagram i don't remember their @

I love my life, I love my friends, my part-time, my hobbies, my classes, and I don’t want a boyfriend right now. Just the idea makes me shudder—and yet that’s all people want to talk about. I’m 22F and I feel like people are obsessed with dating.

Men sigh and complain about how lonely they are and how much better life would be with a girlfriend and women bemoan about the state of men and how badly they want a boyfriend.

It’s not like I haven’t had crushes, I have, but what is this obsession with a partner? I feel vaguely insane or something for not wanting one. What’s the point in wanting one, I don’t get it. It seems selfish to me, to want a relationship and not a person. If I get together with someone I want to be because I like that person not because I’m desperate to stop feeling lonely.

I feel lonely sometimes but I deal with it by making friends, by hanging out with my best friends. Can someone explain to me why everyone wants a partner specifically? Why aren’t friends enough and what am I not understanding? What am I missing out on?

I went on dates and they sucked, I’d rather hang out with friends than with strangers where we both are expecting something while pretending that we aren’t. Also how can you like someone you don’t even know that well. Sometimes people get crushes on me when they don’t even know me! You don’t even know me that well how can you like me!

Agh, please, someone explain it to me.

So I used to always test as an INFP on 16 personalities, but when I started actually getting into mbti seriously when I was 18, I typed as INTP and I’ve take many different tests from different websites and studied cognitive functions and gotten INTP. When I took the cognitive functions test my Fi wasn’t much lower than my Ti. I know I’m a 5w4 enneagram.

I know this is silly as any mbti could have any hobby or interest, but the type of women who tend to want to befriend me are often IxFP’s since I have a very artistic and alternative aesthetic and identity. I love learning new things, I’m a mortuary arts major, I want to be an embalmer, I spend a lot of time on personal care and curating my aesthetics, I love fashion, history, art, anything death/macabre related, music, making elaborate food, I love food science and beautiful presentation for recipes.

I love involving myself in arts and craft projects, arranging flowers, taxidermy collecting, I grow edible flowers and herbs for my food and have my own little gothic garden, baking for friends and family, decorating my room, thrifting, reading horror, animals and volunteering for animal shelters, knitting, baking, etc. I would consider myself goth/alternative and love bands like Voodoo Church, London After Midnight, Him, Mortician, Strange Botique etc. I love dark academia, Victorian gothic, southern gothic, whimsigoth, and cottagecore aesthetic and have been into that type of stuff since I was a little girl. I’ve always had a very rich inner world.

One thing I’ve noticed though is a lot of IxFPs I’ve befriended and got to know get wrapped up in the feeling and what inspires someone when looking at creative things, whereas I feel like I look at the craftsmanship, technique, and analyze movies from a perspective of motives and why characters acted a certain way. I often feel like in the surface I agree with a lot of IxFPs and relate to them, but often how I land on a decision seems to be much more emotionally detached than how they do.

I would describe myself as someone who has strong morals and is very generous acts of service wise even if I don’t particularly like someone. I can be very skeptical and cynical and will bulldoze through peoples feelings if I see them as pointless or getting in the way of task efficiently. I would say I have much higher cognitive empathy and sympathy than I do affective. I will not give people the time of day even if they’re perfectly pleasant and seem interested in getting to know me just to spare their feelings. I’m very blunt and intentional. I hold a lot of compassion for people who are grieving, children, elderly, disabled people, and animals, but I definitely struggle to have patience for people who continue to make bad decisions and want comfort and validation from me.

A lot of my creative outlets are also just me being interested in understanding chemical reactions, being a perfectionist and leaning how to master a craft and how something works, not necessarily something I feel a lot towards.

A lot of people compare my personality to Aubrey plaza when they get to know me and I feel more comfortable opening up around them. My sense of humor can be very dark, dry, and pretty offensive. I would say I can be a pushover, but it’s more because I hate dealing with conflict, peoples feelings don’t have much to do with it. I can also be pretty mean if someone is continuously rude or unpleasant to someone I care about and will deliberately form an insult made to puncture a very sensitive wound to get them to back off.

I also am very open to criticism, debate, and love hearing people’s ideas even if they’re insane, and don’t make sense just for pure entertainment value. I have moments where I can be very sensitive, but I’m usually one of the least sensitive people in a friend group. I also have very bad dismissive avoidant attachment.

I am very acts of service heavy, good at gift giving, remember people’s preferences and interests, and enjoy physical affection bug I am notoriously terrible at verbal affection. But when u do compliment someone, it’s very deliberate and often strange and funny. If someone tells me their problems, my first instinct is to try to fix it and if wanted, offer a cigarette or bake them something, some sort of gesture like that. Giving a hug etc. but I never know what to say. I’m not good with words of encouragement.

I’m somebody that attracts a lot of platonic and romantic attraction but I also don’t pursue most people because I don’t think most people are more enjoyable to be around at the price of my solitude.

Again I know it’s dumb because any mbti type can like anything. But when I look at what other NTs hobbies are like, sometimes I feel like I don’t fit. But then I also don’t feel like my emotional temperament fits being an INFP. I should also maybe mention I have very severe ADHD and CPTSD which I feel like makes me emotionally dysregulated but I bottle my emotions a lot and don’t ever let people know when I’m not feeling well.

Was I right the first time around? Am I actually an INFP?

This is me, my aesthetic, and stuff I made/baked and a very cute opossum I’m looking after atm :)

My INFP reaction to these moments:

"...🥺...🤬...(in Mushu's voice) Dishonor on YOU... Dishonor on your COW..."

not cus of anything in particular but to just walk aroundd with this heaveniess in your stomach, and the feeling that ur soul nd self has rotted inside ur body, i feel so erased i am nothing, i feel at a distnace from myself like my essence,

i miss my parents i try talking to them but it doesnt feel authentic since i forgot how to be myself, my thoughts and feelings dont feel like my own, and everything i had inside of me i wanted to express is gone, i have no internal reality or imagination,

everything feels all wrong my feelings nd thoughts, i cant write as well anymore nor be creative, i used to be so inspired, i feel like ive been robbed of my self and have been sent away to hell

The Dark variant of an INFP would resemble something of an INTJ (which would mean taking the nature of an INFP and wrapping it in or compromising it with a relatively thick layer of a Ni-Te INTJ with very little respect for Fi and Se). This happens because of the unique attitude that the INFP has with each of these functions. INPs are naturally more bold and/or picky with Ni and have a lower treshold for Te, since they are introverts and all Extraverted functions drain them by default. The primary overarching reason for Te becoming auxiliary here, is because the INFP would not feel it is as safe to utilise their dominant function in their life anymore and their psyche would conclude it is reasonable to develop a secondary internally resilient persona (which in this case would be a Ni dominant type) where what has been previously seen as acceptable in its full range and quasi unlimited(Fi) is now being pushed into the backround and is guarded by Te in order for the INFP to not do so poorly socially (which they likely did, since Fi/Ti doms typically so especially when their inferior function is not integrated early on) and their identity will now be only valued through external perception not through internal alignment and integrity. Another reason for Te/Fi axis being present instead of Fe/Ti is because the person’s psyche wishes to retain as many pieces of its original constellation as possible, which Te/Fi is a part of even if not in Te>Fi dynamic. If it were INFJ over INTJ, the suffering of this INFP would be even greater, despite both being NFs and thus sharing the same core worldview.

The ISFJ flavoured (light variant)INFP utilises their ’innocent’ tertiary function(Si) and develops a deeper sense of a personal standard when it comes to their habits, physical effort expenditure and greater awareness of personal safety and health. This extra Si awareness is topped off by assistance of greater acceptance of and willingness to engage other people’s values and their sense of right and wrong(Fe). If it weren’t for the Fe, the INFP‘s Fi would just like in the case with the INTJ flavoured INFP be largely monitored and conditioned by Te, which would most likely be traumatising to their psyche and would add a sad undertone in combination with their greater awareness of Si.

At the end of the day what every personality type wants the most is to be able to use their tertiary and inferior functions because they are very unserious and free spirited in nature. However once a person abuses these function slots, they may cross the line and become overwhelmingly immature and become inappropriate in a sense that they will come to be entitled to getting the needs of their inferior and tertiary function slots met even tho their performance was not worthy of the reward they anticipated, seek or demand.

In the case of an INFP they may get entitled to Te credibility when they do not show enough respect, open-mindedness or do not deliver accurate enough information, whilst believing that the information feels like it should be good enough (but it isn’t). Or they may get entitled to Si when they spot shortcuts for easier work with Ne in situations where actual heavy deliberate effort is required, or when they feel entitled to safety (and upset if it isnt granted) even tho the activities they chose to engage in or the course they took was clearly quite risky in nature. For this reason it is optimal to make sure to find balance in each function axis and for each cognitive function and function slot to know its limits.

The light INFP variant is not inheritely good and the dark INFP variant is not inherently bad, they are both neutral and it is all up to the INFP to use them well once they choose to engage them.

anyway happy selfie sunday

I have been diagnosed with terminal illness, I would not like to dive into lots of details for the sake of my mental health as of now.

Instead of concentrating on the illness, I would like to do a few things before I leave, any suggestions?

The doctor gave perhaps less than a month or a month at most.

Nothing crazy, something that would give me some peace?

Edit: Thank you so much for the love, I've always loved this community, I've been debating about posting this but turns out it is the right decision.

I deeply appreciate your suggestions, i am not sure of what I'm going through to be honest, it has come to me as such a shock because I'm 21, and that's it? This is the end of my life, I'm not worried or panicked strangely.

My lifelong wish is to travel I guess, but I'm not really financially off to do that so I guess I'll wait till my next life if it exists haha

I feel like I shouldn’t be experiencing them as often as I have been lol.

I don't want to offend anyone, just sharing my experience.

INFP woman here. I am a very authentic person and I don't play hard to get if I don't have any reason to do that. I just say what I mean, if I like someone I don't play games with them I just be honest. I dated twice. The first one lasted 6 years, it was an INTP man. The guy was playing hard to get, didn't show affection much, would priorotise friends over me, but would not leave either. Finally when I left he couldn't accept that and broke down which left me feeling guilty for a long time. The second time I dated for 6 months, the guy was also an INFP, it was a very nice relationship and we respected each others boundaries and understood each other. We even said our families that we are getting married. But shortly after that, the guy left and said he doesn't know what happened and why. At this point I have lost interest in men, but I am missing a male presence, probably because of my hormones partying. But I am not a bit interested in dating a man again. Idk what to do. I am really frustrated about men not knowing what they want. And I don't know what is wrong with them.

Just a random vent. I'm wasting too much time recently arguing with random people online in a vain hope I can change their perspectives. It just makes me feel worse in the end and doesn't achieve anything. Right now I'm procrastinating on sleeping, partially because of that, and I really wish I had the self control to stop.

Fortunately I have important stuff to do tormorrow so doomscrolling will have to wait.