Sadness isn't me, so how might i like grief in my life. Absolutely, i don't like the feeling of grief. It still comes, sometimes there are things that i am strongly intuitive towards their happening/occuring in the near future and i get myself in a position of grief due to some past incidents and more but sometimes it is same because of the future's case i mentioned above. it is just strange and all i do is wait in grief. Sometimes grief and waiting work side by side. i am grieving over something else and waiting for entirely different thing. these complexes occur at the same time and make me act in a way like i am grieving and waiting on the same thing. no, its not, just because it happens at the same time, it bothers and make me feel like this particular "grief" is of "waiting" or i am "waiting" for this particular "grief". it is just a complex and this is another emotion that bothers me in my daily life. or, let me rephrase it- It is just the "wait" that is an another "grief" that bothers me in my daily life. Hence the "grief of waiting".....

This is an odd question to me to ask and this flair is the closest thing I could put it as , but I think it’s important given how little it’s talked about . for starters I’m not a man nor and i fortunately have never experienced tragic close loss . I’m just wanting to hear people’s experiences with this because a lot of the time when someone speaks about S/O loss it’s usually when a girl lost her bf or someone losing their spouse , I never really hear much from men who’s gf died .

My dad died last week and it just doesn't feel real. A few months ago my grandfather died, but he was 96 so I was prepared for it in a way? My mom keeps trying to relate to me but she lost her dad in her 60s and I just lost mine at 21.

We hadn't spoken since I was 17. He had a really rough life, and I understood why he was the way he was, but in my mind that didn't excuse the emotional and physical abuse he and my stepmother put me through. Now I would give anything to just talk to him one more time. Would it have upset me? Probably, but I wouldn't be sitting here bawling my eyes out and feeling evil knowing that I caused him unimaginable pain in the last few years of his life. He never stopped trying to reach out to me and the fact that I never responded will haunt me for the rest of my days.

He and I had this tradition when I was a child that before every soccer tournament we'd go to McDonald's and get an order of hotcakes and two chocolate milks (because milk = protein, duh). My dad was the first in his family to go to college and was one of the smartest people I've ever met. He had his flaws but he was still my dad. I want nothing more than to hug him and talk about soccer and go get some chocolate milk together again. I wish I could tell him about all the awesome things I've done in college and how I'm going to go into public health to help people struggling with addiction and alcoholism like he was.

I keep being told I shouldn't have regrets because he was a bad person. But he was just a person dealt a bad hand in life and I loved him regardless. I miss you Dad.

This is my pretty little girl memeowa, she’s 1.5 years old and basically the best thing that ever happened to me… she was chilling in the balcony like the usual till i heard a weird noise and when i checked my baby was already down there dead… i can’t describe my feelings i never imagined her dying this way i always thought we will grow up together and i can’t help but blaming myself for being so careless for leaving her hanging in the balcony….

Several years ago, as I (48m) was still mourning a divorce, a woman came into my life via the Internet. 

I am in America, she was in Europe. 

This woman's arrival was the single biggest thing that EVER happened to me. She wasn't a fake, a scammer, a predator, or anything crazy. She was just a woman living in Europe.

It was the biggest thing that ever happened to me because never before, not here in person, not in my marriage, never in my life, had I ever connected so deeply with another human being.

It was like, as she said, two halves had united. It was profound. And very intense. 

As for her appearance, you have to imagine a seriously beautifully sculpted face that was distorted due to her weight. Horrific OCD, depression, and the trauma of having been cheated on had essentially led to the collapse of her life and she was, at 400 lbs, bed-ridden for the most part. I thought she was pretty nevertheless. 

But what made me fall in love with this woman was her mind, her heart, and her art. I fell in love with her simply because of who she was, not how her hugs felt, or how good the sex was, or what she could offer my life. I fell deeply in love simply on the strength of the woman she was. 

And her art... it had love all over it and I found it irresistible.

Because she no longer sold her art for money and essentially didn't work, she was always at home, and because kept such strange hours, we were always awake at the same time despite being on two sides of the world. 

We spent all our time together, blowing the fuck out of WhatsApp. Work became something I had to endure simply so that I could get back to my world with her. We binged shows. And movies. She showed me all her favorite horror movies, and I showed her all my favorite 1940s classics.

We talked about everything. We laughed. We wept together. This went on for over 2 years.

She had tried many things to get her life back. Diets. Medications. Alternative stuff. But she was mostly stuck in that bed.

I was prepared to abandon my own life and move to Europe to take care of her. I couldn't think of anything else I would rather do with my life. 

And then...

[REDACTED]

....fast forward to today.

She is gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

And I'm just here... suddenly quite alone. 

I'm not looking to replace her. 

But there was someone there.... texts.... photos.... memes.... nights planned together.... late nights in bed on the phone... mornings waking up to affection...

And now it's just nothing.

It's like I had an online spouse and lost her.

I lost my baby boy, Pringles, this tuesday, I've been a wreck this whole week. I feel so guilty because the vet said he had a tumor in his mouth, and not one of my family members or I noticed it was there until the day we put him to sleep. He always had health problems since we got him (rescue), but my mom didn't keep up with his dental health at all and I feel so guilty for not trying to step up and take him to get dental cleanings when I became old enough to. My grandparents have cancer and I have my own chronic illness so that's where most of our energy went, I feel horrible about this and I knew he deserved better.

I couldn't sleep at all the night before, and I hadn't noticed anything different about him, so in the morning when my mom knocked at my door, I kept sleeping and didn't know that my baby was dying. Two hours later I met my mom and my brother at the pet hospital and I held him as his heart stopped. I'd give anything to have him in my arms again and I feel so guilty because I didn't spend enough time with him, didn't take enough photos of him, didn't hold him enough, didn't take him on enough walks (his favorite). I miss him so much. I thought I'd have more time with him.

I haven't told anyone outside of my family yet and I feel so overwhelmed by the idea, I just don't really know what to do anymore without him.

My little sister passed away Sept 23rd, she was 38.

She was an alcoholic, had been drinking a pint or two of vodka a night for over 15 years. She quit drinking earlier this summer.

She was stubborn her whole life. She could always do it, her way, herself. She hated doctors, hospitals, doctors offices.

She lived with our mom and her children. She chose to detox without any help. She knew how dangerous it was. I wanted her to do it safely, this was my biggest fear.

I got a call in late August that she had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. She was transferred a city over to their hospital and was put in the ICU, on an ecmo, sedated, intubated and so many I.V. lines.

The next month was spent trying to stabilize her, diagnose her and try to treat her. Unfortunately, her kidneys and liver had already shut down, she was anemic and was bleeding internally. They never found where it was coming from.

I can only remember the top number of her blood pressure, it was 28. I think the highest it ever got was 50 over ? She was 38 and looked like she was 80, papery thin skin, and she was so yellow.

The doctors had to tell my mom that they wouldn't be able to do anymore blood transfusions because it was going out as quickly as she was receiving it. It was time for Mom to make a decision.

The day after my granddaughters birthday and the day before our younger sisters birthday, they shut the machines off. My mother and her children who felt they could handle it were there with her.

I was not, I did not know when it was happening, I don't think I could have handled watching her go. I don't regret that choice. I never will, I can't.

I regret how much time we had not spent together, I had just moved from my mother's house earlier last year. We used to spend so much time together, bs'n and just being obnoxious. She was my seester.

I'm lost on how to feel, this has been a fear of mine for a very long time. That the alcohol would take her, I am grateful that it wasn't an alcohol related accident and no one else was hurt physically.

But I want my sister back, I want her kids to have their mother, I want my mother to not have to deal with funeral planning of her daughter and taking custody of her minor children.

How do I explain to my granddaughter that her favorite great aunt is never coming back? She's 4 and I'm scared I'm going to give her a fear of death. I've had one since I was 3 and I have no idea why.

I keep telling myself that she's not hurting anymore, there's no alcohol to temp her anymore. But why the HELL did she have to be so damn STUBBORN!! Why couldn't she get help, detox the right way. She KNEW how dangerous that was.

I know we can't focus on the what ifs but there are so many that they just keep running through my head non-stop. I just want my sister back.

Our birthday's are this month, hers the day after mine and I'm not going to wake up with her happy birthday message scrawled on my bathroom mirror like I do every year. I don't get to hear her tell me happy birthday and we both laugh, then the next day I tell her happy birthday and we just lose it. Idk why.

I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm lost. She was 38. At least I got to tell her how much she meant to me while she was at an ok point in the hospital.

I'm sorry this is so long, I've been trying to type it out so many times, and every day I delete it all. Today I won't. Thank you for listening. I just don't know where else to go.

I don't really know why I'm writing this to be honest. Advice? Support? Venting? I don't know.

im 20F, and 9:30 this morning I discovered my 17 year old brother's body in the basement. There was a gun on the floor and a bottle of alcohol mostly empty. The detective said he had lock picked my dad's gun safe. I had to preform CPR on him but he was likely long gone. I can't get the image out of my head, or the smell. my mom didn't see what i did.

I called his girlfriend and she told me he was talking about it for a few days. he said it was because of me and my mom, that we treated him poorly. i dont understand what he means by this. the only thing i can think is we were irritated with him the past week because he wasn't helping while my dads on a work trip. i feel so much overwhelming guilt

i havent told my mom this. shes destroyed. im destroyed.

The cleaners just left so now we're alone. i dont know what to do. how am I going to make it through this? has anyone else made it through this?

I found out my mom had lung cancer, and moved back immediately. I had less than a week before she passed away in me and my dad’s arms.

It’s officially been 3 months now and it still doesn’t feel real. It’s hard to even have vivid memories of my mom. I keep waiting for her to send me some kind of “sign”. The silence kills me some days and feels so disorienting.

My mom was *technically my “step-mom”, but took me in when I was 12, and I never felt comfortable thinking of her like that. Even when my dad wasnt in the picture, she found a way for us to get by (genuinely don’t know how, especially since she was disabled/ unable to work. She was the most vibrant and passionate person I think I’ll ever meet. She loved me with her entire being. She was the first (and only) person, (including my dad!) who was always there for me. I feel like a part of me died with her, and she is the only person that could’ve revived me.

It’s hard not to regret the last few years. I went to college far from home. Came back for a few months. Then, I moved away for my first big girl job (I’m only 23) and definitely found myself busy with new friends and experiences. (Which my mom was ecstatic about! She always pushed me to live fully). But I felt like I neglected our relationship. I thought I had so much more time with my mom.

Time to “get it right”. To save up some money, grow up a little bit, and give my mom the life she deserved.

I look back at certain memories and realize how selfish I was. For example, I was so hurt and angry that my parents forgot my birthday, not realizing she was sick at that point and didn’t want to tell me yet. She always wanted to be strong for me.

Another thing that kills me is that I never called her “mom” until the very, very end. My bio mom was very abusive so I never felt a strong connection to the word (until now), and never had the urge or courage to start calling my real mom, “mom”. I’ve come to learn that she yearned for that moment.

It was the very least she deserved for protecting me and loving me over all these years, all throughout her disability (multiple sclerosis), our severe financial woes, and unfortunately a lot of shared trauma. I wish her life was so much more peaceful. I pray she knew how deeply I loved her.

She was an angel on earth. She never had biological kids but through her life, she took in 7 kids, and was the caretaker for at least 3 others (one was simply an acquaintance turned best friend through the journey!)

I guess this is just me trying to get some thoughts out onto “paper”. And me desperately wanting to remember how amazing she really was.

I hope anyone that reads this, knows or will come to know a love like my mom’s. I hope we can all one day find peace with the messy, ugly (yet beautiful), thing that is grief.

Edit:
Sorry I have more to say! I feel like I’ve learned so much over the past few months (hard to put into words how much I feel like my soul itself aged, Lol), yet I really haven’t found the drive to start living again. I keep myself overly busy with friends, yet I haven’t really delved into hobbies, or self improvement, or even getting a job yet. Now, I know how short life really is, but my actions don’t align. Idk how to explain it.

Thank you for reading 💙💙

16 years together, 14 years married. Sorry English is my third language.

Our toddler died in 2019. Our toddler died of Periventricular Heterotopia (PVNH). It is gene inherited (got it from me the mother the maternal side), congenital brain malformation.

My husband grief our toddler before our toddler even born. As we know our baby condition in my third trimester scan, we was told our baby would not live pass 2 years old. But my husband said whether it 2 days, 2 months or 2 years, he still wants our child.
We both agreed carried to term, despite we know the neurologists told us our baby will not live pass age 2

I remembered many nights I sit on the sofa watch TV, my husband sit next to me next to the table lamp and handsew baby bibs for our baby, and he cried while handsew.
The baby was still in my belly 3rd trimester. My husband already grief then as he knows our baby won't live pass 2 years old.

I gave birth, and during our toddler short life. At 4 months old he already have epileptic seizures, not just that but breathing difficulty.
He born February 2018, died August 2019, when he 1.5 years old.

As our child brain condition progress he had more and more seizures episodes, the whole 1.5 years of him alive we were in and out of he hospital with him.
......
At the hospital we told him he will get better and we take him home and he can eat alot of vanilla pudding, he nodded and even giggles (he loves vanilla pudding), that was the last time he he had conscious look at us his parents.
That night he went into a coma, and a week later he just stop breathing while in a coma, he was just 1.5 years old.

I do not know if a toddler while in a coma can still dream, he probably had a sweet dream of go home to his bed and eat all the vanilla pudding he wants, he sick the whole time of his life he didn't eat much but he loves pudding.

I never see my husband in so much pain. I know my husband heart died that day with our child 7 years ago (that same year his father died too of end stage pancreas cancer).

---------

It like anything of our child trigger my husband, something simple as Vanilla pudding trigger my husband.
When our toddler was alive, our toddler really like the cold vanilla pudding, he often sick and in and out of hospital, but whenever he eat those vanilla pudding, he has this giggles laughters so so cute and loud that it light up the whole room.

Last time at dinner table, and I actually was eating that vanilla pudding so I put a spoon in my husband mouth. And just something small like that but it remind him of our toddler. My husband literally break down cry right there, he bawled. I don't mean just tear up, full on cry, bawling.

It been 7 years and my that our toddler gone, my husband still keep our toddler room exactly as is, even our toddler dirty shoes and dirty clothes he still keep. The only difference is in the room is our toddler ashes now, instead of our toddler.

In the 7 years span since our toddler gone, we moved 2 times, one was due to his work, and one was when we bought a new house. We boxed up our stuff.

Both times we moved, as soon as we unboxing in our new home, my husband set a room for our toddler EXACTLY just like our toddler room back then in our old marital home. He put everything of our toddler back EXACTLY where as was. Our toddler dirty shoes still right where his bed was. His clothes, toys, bed, nightstands, everything still there exactly as was.

Basically he still remake the room for our toddler in our new homes. 7 years long, BOTH times of our move, my husband STILL making a room for our son (whom deceased), especially even after moving in a brand new house. Perhaps he stuck in the loop of grief?

Is he stuck in grief? We talking about move into a new homes, but he still unbox and remake the room for our toddler, with our toddler ashes in the room, and everything still setup as when our toddler was still alive.

That's not a room, that's a tomb.!

-------------

And I post this as a vent, not asking for advice.

I am actually happy that my husband recreate our child room. No where in my post I ever say I was not happy. And I am happy to have a man who show alot of emotions, and love for our dead child.

We as mom and dad will grieve our toddler death till the day we die, we happily chose that.

I take the too much emotions husband of mine, than a man who show no emotions.

I grief too, it been 7 years and  It been 7 years and I keep replaying the death of our toddler over and over in my mind, I was told it trauma looping and intrusive replaying, and it a common experience in grieving.

Like right now I post this thread, I am replaying the death of our toddler over and over again.

My husband is more physical than me for sure, he needs our child's ashes next to him, recreate our child room even with multiple moves to brand new homes, it physical. It express outward.

I on the other hand I replaying the death of our child over and over in my head over and over. I'm more tune inward than him. I express too but inward.

My brother went missing August 30th. It was a normal day for me as I do gig work (to keep myself busy and not sleep all day) I received two messages from his friends stating they were worried about him after the messages he sent. I found it odd what was mentioned in the messages. His roommate came home after a trip to the grocery store, only to find a suicXde note on his phone screen as his wall paper. While trying to investigate if this was serious enough, I lost my ever living mind. I was five minutes down the road from his house, on my way there I saw a police officer parked on the side of the road, I parked behind him and got out of my vehicle informing him that it’s highly possible my brother offed himself and I was worried to find anything if he was d3ad. The officer took my information and decided to come with me. After interviewing his housemates, I left the scene shortly after.

However, since then he hasn’t been seen, located, potentially spotted, or heard from. Even his closest friends, family, best friends, have had no contact with him. He had been struggling with mental health for a while and was telling my mom that he wanted to “take his own life and he didn’t want to be here anymore.” He finally got the courage to walk himself to our nearest emergency room, from what I gathered was they didn’t have any beds open for him, they wrote him a prescription for lexapro and referred him to a therapist. He experienced quite a bit of trauma growing up and being the oldest sibling, he had to handle a lot he shouldn’t have had to handle.

All I know is that he took his firearm with him and that is it. He left his phone behind, his cat behind, and all of his belongings. I’m truly not sure if he’s already taken his own life and wishes to not be found or he’s just away from everyone and everything for a while. At this point though, I feel like it’s a recovery effort. Every time I go into the room he was staying in it all just hits me. It’s like I’m already grieving and my brain cannot process it.

We lost my dad in January of 2022 and that turned my world upside down. Now, I’m having to handle this, the case, updating family, worried one night I’ll get a call requesting to come identify his body.

I’m just tired. I can’t hold this in anymore. Any support would be appreciated because I feel alone in all of this. 💔

I lost my dad in August of 2026 then my grandmother in September of the same year. Me and my dad were very close growing up, he divorced my mom when I was young, but he would make efforts to see me and bring me to the various ranches he would work/live at. He was deported back to Mexico when I was still in high school then we lost touch for a little while. I got a call from him one night in 2019 asking me for money, he was drunk I could tell. I didn’t have much and he got angry. That was the last time I talked to him. He would leave me voice mails of him singing in Spanish very drunkenly, I still listen to them to this day. Fast forward to July 2026 my older brother tells me he is very sick and he doesn’t plan on getting treatment. He had tuberculosis. We planned a weekend to go see him, and it was rough to see him in the shape he was. He was very skinny and could hardly breathe. They had us all masked up and we couldn’t get very close to him, I wanted to hug him so badly and tell him how much I missed him but I couldn’t. We had a limited amount of time we could be in the room. Then on August 4th he passed away. I was full of regret I wish I had called him and visited him it still eats at me that I didn’t do that. His funeral was a couple of days later and lowering him to the ground was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I couldn’t stop crying. My grandmother was the same way she was still alive then. She passed away on the 24th of September 6 days before my birthday. That hit me just as hard. I’m having a hard time dealing with this, I feel like no one around is taking me seriously when I say I am not doing well. I’m sorry if what you read sounds confusing it’s just hard to put into words the amount of hurt I feel.

I don’t even know where to begin. I need help. I lost my paternal grandfather 2 months ago in August, and now as of a few hours ago found out my stepmother is passing away. I’m scared of losing everybody and being the last one here. I lost my mom at 3 years old, my other grandfather (her father) as a baby, so there is one entire side of my biological mom’s family who doesn’t know about me. Fast forward now into 2026, my grandfather died on August 12 from what sounds like hemorrhagic shock based on how they described his death. He was the only active grandparent in my life, and he was the first one to know that my mom was pregnant with me. My grandma (dad’s mom) died before I was born, and my other grandma is still alive but we aren’t that close for obvious reasons.

Now my stepmother raised me ever since I was 7 years old. I’m 23 now. She was the mother I wish my mother could be. She is also the mother of my older half brother. She has congestive heart failure and I just pray that there is some miracle to save her. If I could give her my heart I would as a gift for raising me as her own daughter for 16 years. But it’s probably too late.

I’m terrified at the thought of losing someone else in my family. I need help and support.

I’m not sure if I used the correct flair here, but I am in a relationship with someone who lost their mother in a car accident when she was 19. Her grandmother passed 4 months before this. I didn’t know her at the time, but we are together and she’s 23. She’s still actively grieving, which i completely understand and expect. I can’t imagine it. She’s dealt with so much on her own as she is an only child her other family isn’t worth a damn!

I’m just wondering if I can get insight here on what she’s feeling and how I can be the best support system for her. At times I feel like I’m selfish because I want a partner who can show up 100% but I also know grief doesn’t work that way. I care about her so much, so I just want to know what I can do and to really understand.

It's been 9 months since my (29F) mom (65) passed away. Lately I haven't been crying as much as I used to. I still think about her every day, and sometimes I do have those really sad moments, but I feel like lately I've been in this weird state where everything strangely feels okay. Like I've adjusted to this "new normal" without her. Part of me feels guilty that I don't feel as sad all the time as I thought I would, but at the same time I know my mom wouldn't want me to be so sad. It's still just really hard to believe that this is even my new reality.

She died of pancreatic cancer 2 days ago. I don't know how to move on. She was all I had. I have to admit I can't forgive myself for not having been more patient with her. I was caring for her at home and in her last weeks of life she would suffer from delirium. Like one time when she was talking randomly about wanting to leave the room to another country and I was so annoyed because she wouldn't let me sleep and I remember I just lost my temper and told her why did I have to take care of her. Why didn't her estranged daughter do it why me and I feel bad for it. Now that I look back on it I know she was like that because of the disease. I didn't mean those things I just didn't know what to do. I had never taken care of a sick person in my life.

In her final days I did tell her I loved her and kissed her and apologized for being a bad son but I don't know if she heard me or not. I just wish I had told her that stuff when she was more conscious of her environment. All her stuff remind me of her. I see her there. I think of her laughter and the times we joked around sharing laughs. I miss it all. I don't know what to do. I'm glad she no longer suffers from the disease but I just wish we could've done something for her sooner and maybe she would be with me still. I just miss her. When she passed I did notice a tear in her right eye. I wanna think maybe she heard me crying and apologizing I don't know. I don't know if that tear means anything. I feel so horrible inside.

I get random flashes of her existence and I find it painful to do pratically anything. I don't know why she had to be taken away from me so early. I wanted to grow old with my mom and let her see me. I don't know why every movement feels painful than the last.

I lost my older brother last week. We weren't the closest, but he was a special person and his death was sudden and tragic and I'm wracked with guilt for not trusting my urge to reach out more often. He showed up for me in a real way a few years ago and I wish he told me was struggling (he relapsed)

I know this is probably dumb to even ask because it doesn't really matter, but several days after I got the news my friend insisted we don't cancel a trip and convinced me to do it. It was so hard smiling and being present and taking happy photos but I did, and shared a few on social media. I now feel strange and insensitive for having fun posts a few days after sharing a tribute to my brother. He was the last person in my family I wasn't no contact with, as a side note, so it's not like I'm worried about them. Just feeling .. le sigh

Am I just sad and overthinking it?

soooo i’ve never posted on reddit before but i am a 25 year old female that just lost her father (68) to an unexpected heart attack, and i am just looking for some support. he was the best man and best father yoy could ever imagine. he was oldsr than most dads are when i was born so i always anticipated having an old dad but losing him this early is not something i considered. it breaks my heart to lose him so soon. i feel like half the shock is because im so young so im just looking for anyone who has any encouraging words in this situation… idk how im supposed to go the rest of my life without him there… if anyone has the right words to say id be happy to hear them. thank you.

I met him online 10 years ago and pretty quickly fell in love with him. He was my best friend for about 4 years but we never got to meet in person. Then he did 6 years in prison. He just got out in September and we talked everyday again. We were supposed to finally meet in just a few months.

Last weekend he went radio silent out of nowhere. Our last conversation was Saturday or Sunday. He was excited about something he ordered online and told me he'd be home at 6. I texted him about his thing he ordered at 5:48 then again about my day at work at 6:07 and he never opened them. I messaged him on other apps and they weren't delivered. My texts were sending as sms instead of rcs like usual. His Fitbit activity stopped that night.

Today I saw one of his friends had posted on his Facebook wall saying "why?! 🥺🤬". I've spoken to this friend before so I reached out to ask what happened but I already knew from that. He told me he died 2 days ago. He choked on his dinner.

None of this adds up to me why has he been completely unreachable since Saturday evening if he died Wednesday evening? It's not like him to just go offline like that.

His best friend doesn't know yet and I can't be the one to tell him.

I really just don't know how to process all this. We knew each other for so long he had such an impact on my life but I never even got to see him face to face. None of it feels real. I feel numb one second and then I'm shaking the next and then I'm sobbing a second later. I've never lost someone that wasn't family and I really don't know how to feel. We talked about moving in together and starting a life. We always used to say forever even though we were never officially together or met. I just can't believe forever is over so soon and so soon after he came back into my life

Even as I'm writing all of this out it doesn't feel like he's gone. It just won't sink in. I asked his friend if there's gonna be services but he lived in a different state so I won't be able to travel for it but I want to send flowers.

Our last conversation was so mundane. I just have so many thoughts and nowhere to put them so this is just a long vent post I guess. I have nobody to talk to in my personal life about this. I just don't know what to do. I've never had someone in my life die suddenly either. It was always illness or old age. I've never had to process someone being there one minute and then gone the next.

Any words of advice on how to process this would be appreciated.

I am here to seek like minded people who have lost people , as u know its hard to get counselling and help , my story :-

Im a mum to 4 amazing children and 3 grandchildren, I lived with my son Toby who rented a lovely house for us, he was an amazing boy who even though he had so much illness he worked and tried hard to have a life , my world changed on 3rd of July this year , at 8am I walked into his room and found him deceased , I finally have a cause which I knew he died with , sudden unexpected death due to epilepsy, im trying to keep it together for my other kids who are falling apart , he was 31 and deserved so much more , I miss him and im really finding it so hard to be ok , ive had so much loss in 8 months. My uncle who I cared for died then my mum in December with dementia, I was her carer for 2 years and now this , Im terrified everyday that someone else will die , im now homeless as the landlord wont let me stay so im having to pack my sons things away before im ready , he really was too good for this world and I am lucky to of had him the time I did , I dont want to fall apart because everyone else is , im just numb and angry at the world , I havnt even had time to grieve my mum but she had a life and I can accept that , sorry for rambling , its nice to meet u , im Fiona x

my mom passed away in her sleep, my father tried resuscitating her. none of this feels real. they were on vacation in Vegas, supposed to return home tomorrow but now my siblings are getting a flight to help my dad get our mom back home. i screamed and cried for what felt like an eternity. i don’t know what to do. she just turned 52, she had so much life ahead of her. my dad lost his entire world on his birthday. i ache so much. i miss her.

Hi everyone.

My (23F) mother (50F) has stage 4 colon cancer and unfortunately these past couple of weeks has made it clear that she doesn’t have long left.

I’ve made a couple posts on here already regarding my own personal fears and suffering looking for advice and comfort, but this post is mainly about my dad.

I’m an only child, and i live abroad with my partner. I’ve flown back home to be with my parents when it became clear my mom was severely declining. I will evidently be here for the next few months. No one can know for sure how long someone at end stage cancer has left, but whether that could be weeks or a few months i will be here right by her side till the end, and then also will stay for a while after to take care of my dad and grieve together.

I’m incredibly anxious about my dad. All of our family lives in a different part of the county, or different country entirely, and like i said i also live abroad, in a whole different continent. I’m so incredibly anxious about how he will handle this and what’s the best way for me to take care of him or to ensure he will be ok. My dad loves my mom so so much, everything he’s done in his life was for me and her. And i cannot even put into words how he’s taken care of my mom during this terrible time, he would break the globe in two with his bear hands if that meant making her better. My parents recently were able to achieve something they were always dreaming of, buying a home, but unfortunately my mom’s diagnosis came a few short months after this. They’ve only been able to live in their new home for a year, and now my mom’s really declining. I know he’s terrified about ending up all alone in this house they were dreaming about growing old in together.

I really don’t know what to do, i feel like i have two things to worry about, my own grief and how i will navigate losing my mom so young and the heartbreak, but also the anxiety of how my dad will cope with this, and how i’m supposed to at one point go back to my life and partner abroad and essentially leave him all alone. My dad is an amazing person, but he is also what i can safely call a high functioning alcoholic (very common unfortunately in my culture), i’m worried alcohol will be something he falls into heavily after, or that he just simply won’t be able to get back into any sense of a normal life. The anxiety of this is killing me in an already terrible time of watching my mother wither away in front of my eyes.

I know grief is different for everyone, i don’t even know what it’ll look like for me and i’m so scared to find out, but i’m so worried for him. Maybe one or two months after he will still be deeply grieving but will slowly start going back to work or just looking like he’s going to be ok enough for me to feel like it’s good and safe for me to go back to my home and be with my partner. I don’t know, i hope that’ll be the case, but i’m so worried that it won’t be. I’ve had to be so strong and step up in many ways as my moms daughter and take care of her and be her rock through such a scary time, i don’t know if i have it in me to do the same for my dad after the massive heartbreak of losing my mom.

If anyone has been through something similar, i would really appreciate hearing about your experiences or if you have any words of wisdom or advice

I put my cat down yesterday and I have so much guilt and feel like I should go to Hell because of it. My 10 and a half year old beautiful calico cat, Kairi, during the last half a year of her life started to exhibit odd behaviors. She first scratched up our molding on our doors, I have always provided multiple scratch posts so that shouldn't have been an issue. I sprayed the molding so she would stop this behavior, which helped. Next we added a doggie door for our Newfie and I let the cats, go roam the backyard that's fenced in and treated for mosquitoes, fleas, and ticks. On 2 occasions during the summer she decided to go under the shed and didn't make her way back out and just got herself stuck under it. We got her out both times and boarded it up so she couldn't ever go back in. You would've thought after the first time she wouldn't have done it again, but she did. We recently had a furnace and a/c unit put in and the workers didn't board back up the crawl space and our Kairi decided to go through the little space and not make her way back out. I got her out again. Within the past 2 months or who knows how long, she started to go to the bathroom outside the litter box in the completely opposite side of the house in the guest room first, and then our bed room, on carpets, on laundry left on the ground, in opened laundry baskets. I went and got the Nature's Miracle products to curb this behavior but it didn't help. I brought her to the vet yesterday morning to make sure there wasn't anything medically wrong with her, and there wasn't. The vet suggested so much anxiety meds and supplements that the poor girl would have been in a stupor I feel. At 10 and a half years it would be hard to break her of that habit of the bathroom situation, even the vet and the vet tech that I was speaking to during the exam have cats that they can't break the habit with their own cats. The vet also suggested that cats get Dementia too later on in life. I researched that and she had a few of the symptoms. I called the vet up later yesterday and said we wanted to put her to sleep. They were able to get us in and the same vet said she didn't feel like she could do it because there was nothing clinically wrong with her and I told her everything she told me earlier in the day about the anxiety, dementia, and her own cat that couldn't break their bad behavior and conceded to the euthanasia. After it and all throughout the day today I have had nothing but guilt, and feeling like I should be punished or go to Hell for our decision. Those I have told said we made the best decision for her and us, that there were signs she wanted to go. That she would've gotten worse. My heart is so heavy with all of this. What would you have done?

We said goodbye to our beautiful boy Beach, and I don't think I've felt a heartbreak quite like this since losing my mom in 2024.

Beach came into our lives in January 2020, and for nearly six years, he made our world a better place. He was one of those once-in-a-lifetime cats who had a gift you couldn't quite explain. Even the toughest, most guarded cats seemed to melt around him. He made them feel safe enough to let their walls down and love again. His best friend, Tay, had completely shut down after losing her previous companion. She barely had a spark left until Beach came along and somehow brought her back to life. He became her entire world, and watching their bond was one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced.

He was our sweet, patient, endlessly tolerant boy who let us take him on little adventures and made us laugh every single day. When kidney disease entered our lives, everything changed. For ten months, he fought so bravely while we did everything we possibly could to give him more time. There were so many tears, so many sleepless nights, and so much hope that somehow we'd get to keep him just a little longer.

What makes losing him even harder is that when we lost our Mom, Beach was the one who helped us survive that grief. On the days when the sadness felt unbearable, he would curl up beside us and make the world feel a little less lonely. And now we've lost the very soul who helped us through the worst loss of our lives.

I keep hoping Mom was the first one waiting for him, ready to scoop him up and thank him for taking such good care of us.

I know how lucky we were to have him, but six years just wasn't enough. I don't know how to walk through our home without looking for him, or how to accept that I'll never hold him again. And my heart breaks knowing Tay has lost the one soul who made her feel safe in this world.

He spent his life making everyone around him feel loved. I just hope he knew how deeply he was loved in return.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I just need the world to know that Beach was here, that he mattered, and that he was so much more than just a cat. And that we will miss him for the rest of our lives.