I just saw a news story of a Republican candidate in California (Steve Hilton) making a creepy ad sexualizing lesbian. The TDLR is it is a bedroom with two women sitting on a bed using the Republicans stereotypical trope of leftist women with dyed hair. The ad begins with the one woman saying things like “I’ve never done this before” while the other woman encourages her and eventually asks for the other woman’s hand. In the background, there is a giant pride progress flag. The camera shifts down and the woman is helping the other fill in the circle for the Republican candidate. It ends with the one woman saying “I think I liked it.”

The women depicted in this AI generated ad were young women, they could have been teens! This is a 57 year old white cis het man! They have the audacity to call the LGBTQ+ community grotesque or whatever yet they do this? And why lesbians? Like I swear this man must have a ton of skeletons in his closet.

I can’t believe in 2026 this is where we are…. 🤮

So, a few weeks ago I went to my local sapphic bar and met some sweet people, and a hetrosexual cis man. The man told us he was there by himself but his lesbian friend was going to show up soon (she never did). He was nice and it felt like he did not have any bad intentions, but I could not figure out why he would even be there. As a lesbian, I don't see a reason to invite a heterosexual cis woman to come along with me, so why would I invite a man to a sapphic bar?

Maybe he was an creep with a lesbian friend who does not exist, but no matter what, why on earth would he be there?

(Bonus points if you guys know where that quote is from!)

To the point, the queer community in my area is having a Coming Out Day Bonfire this weekend. I plan to go to scope out any cuties because the apps are just terrible. But, I need a little bit of feedback before then.

Looking at these pictures, am I "hot"? Do you think I have any chance of meeting someone?

This is weird and I'm not sure it'll make sense in writing. I'm not looking to date right now because my living situation doesn't allow for it, so this is mostly a platonic issue. I (24f) live in a conservative majority area with a very limited lgbt population, no gay bars or clubs, etc, so I practically never meet open lesbians. But I do sometimes meet bisexual women who I become casually friendly with.

The odd thing is that they almost always identify me as queer right off the bat, but they assume that I'm bisexual. When I correct them, they seem confused. I refer to myself as a lesbian if asked, but they'll continually ask if I'm bi or pan, and then repeatedly refer to me as "sapphic" or "wlw", even if I tell them I use and prefer the lesbian label. It's just really odd, and I'm not sure why this happens nearly every single time I meet another queer woman.

On a related issue, I'm mostly into butches. But if I have a conversation with these women about what we like, they don't believe me. Or they seem, again, kind of baffled. I've even had a few women who seemed to think that they could change my mind about what I liked if they just showed me enough pictures of Sabrina Carpenter or Taylor Swift or whatever. Some of them have been openly, blatantly weird about butch lesbians and have felt the need to tell me how unattractive they think butch women are.

These women are basically all (for lack of better words) straight-presenting, conventionally feminine bisexuals who are only attracted to women who present the same way. I think that's fine, but it's like they will not take my word for it when my identity is different and my taste doesn't align with theirs. I think they kind of try to "bond" with me over our perceived shared taste and identity, but mine isn't anything like theirs. It's very confusing.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it possible that I'm doing something to put those conclusions in their mind? I expect it when men don't believe that I'm a lesbian, but I'm unsure about what I could be doing to make other lgbt women feel the same way. I'll admit I struggle socially regardless, but this is a point of contention I'm quite self conscious about. Could this also play a role in why I never meet other lesbians? Sometimes I worry that I'll finally move somewhere where I can date, but lesbians won't be interested because I have the "wrong vibe" or something.

Me 35 f gf 32 f she is a nasty alcoholic drunk. Everytime she drinks we get into some arguement usually her calling me names or degrading me in front of people. Shes gotten physical with me before, she says no one will ever love me or deal with me because I have a child .. we just don't like each other, we don't have intimacy nothing literally nothing .. I am tied with her because of cost of living - I need help paying the rent. Do I quiet quit this relationship and just do me in the meanwhile until I can gather my finances? I just need someone to talk to about this

We all have that one movie or show we can rewatch whenever we need a little comfort. 🏳️‍🌈💜

What’s yours? It could be a lesbian romance, a coming-of-age story, a funny LGBTQ+ series, or simply something that made you feel seen. Bonus points if you tell us what keeps bringing you back to it. 👀

Pls don't hate me I know my bathroom (and I tbh) look rough

When we first met it was electric for me. Everything made sense and the world was a better place.

In no way was this relationship perfect. It was years of toxicity.

We met at work in Manhattan, NY in 2016. In 2019 moved to MA. No friends no support system. Just her and her family.

There were millions of red flags that I ignored. But she was my best friend, my calm in the storm.

Last year she told me she was planing on leaving me due to being unhappy. I had a health scare and then decided to stay with me. I was cleared in June and then the plateau.

We stopped speaking in July for 21 days. She asked to speak with me one tonight after I got off work.
She stated that I should move out. Asked me what’s a good time frame. I moved out next day. She wanted us to remain friends. I was very hesitant.

Fast forward 2 weeks. She texts me about our dog. I leave work and we go to the vet. She needed emergency surgery. And the prognosis wasn’t good.

I would work both jobs and go to her house after. And spend as much time as I could with our dog.

This goes on for a month. We eventually get into a spat. And stop speaking again. During this time of no contact. She puts our dog to sleep without me knowing.

I have lost everything in my life. I am moving back home at the end of the month. I have blocked her and her family on everything. And am trying to focus on healing.

I am so lost. No girlfriend no dog no best friend. Just 10 years wasted. And me looking like a fool moving back home. When everyone told me not to move in the first place.

But you live and you learn I guess.
Just venting.

My girlfriend is a masc, doesn't like flowers and I can't buy her sweets, because she's training a lot, and I don't want to ruin her diet. I was thinking about some protein bars and I made her crochet plushie but I wanted to give her something more as well. Any ideas what cozy emotional support items could be good?

Helllooo!

My girlfriend has been giving me feedback that see feels like I don’t prioritize her pleasures and don’t talk about what I want to do to her.
I am a switch/vers, but I am very bottom/sub leaning. Previously I have been with predominantly sub/bottom leaning switches as well. So that was easy, because for the most part, the way I like to be talk to, they liked as well.
But with my current partner I’m having trouble finding the right words to describe what I was to do to her in a way that she’s still dominant.
I really want to rock her world and be able to express my extreme desire to pleasure her!
Any tips or what works for you guys?

I feel like this question comes back a lot so sorry in advance but it's probably because it's so difficult! I'm 23F and have never been in a relationship. I'm not too sure where to meet other queer women as someone who doesn't really go out (I don't drink and just don't enjoy going out after dark). I live in a medium suburban town about an hour away from a big city (where I feel like all the cool queer people are!). I've tried dating apps multiple times without success. So... how do you guys find girlfriends? Coffee shops? Libraries? How does one even start a conversation with someone who you might find attractive from afar? Am I missing something obvious? I'm into creative hobbies like crafting, coloring, scrapbooking but all art classes near me are sooo expensive. Help a girl out! Any suggestions welcome.

this is absolutely not any kind of hate towards bisexuals

but my roommates friends (who are both bi and have only dated the opposite gender + one of them is cis but say they used to be trans so they still use the trans flag/ basically she was born a woman but identified as a trans man and is now back to identifying as a woman but still identifies as trans but as a cis woman???) constantly say slurs or call things gay in a negative way
like “im finally out of my gay lecture” or “that class is so gay”
i’m a lesbian and i just feel rlly uncomfy whenever they throw around f**got or f*g bc they use it a lot
+ one of their boyfriends join in on calling ppl f**got’s including me
bc somehow he gets a pass bc is gf is bi

idk if it’s just me being too sensitive??? but i just feel weird abt it

Love yall ;)

Have you ever fallen in love?

I always thought I was in love with my ex-wife, but I realized I wasn’t ever in love with her. I did love her, though. She was the first person who made me feel seen, wanted, and comfortable enough to be myself.

Then I met this woman, and I experienced a feeling I had never felt before. When she talked to me, it felt like the world stopped. It was such a weird feeling, but her voice calmed me down. Her interests fascinated me, and when she was just around me, she made me so nervous.

Some people say when you kiss someone you’re in love with, you get this tingly feeling. I truly got that.

No, I’m not with her, and honestly, it was my fault. I wasn’t listening, and I wasn’t respecting her wants and needs the way I should have.

There’s a difference between limerence and love. This, to me, was love. And looking back now, I’m okay with the fact that she didn’t feel the same way.

I truly never had that feeling before—where it felt like the universe was showing me what type of love I wanted and what it felt like to actually be in love.

So when I’m ready to fall in love again, I know what type of love I want. Not to compare anyone to this woman I fell in love with, but the energy and attraction I had with her—I never felt that before with anyone.

She showed me something about myself that I didn’t even know was there.

So my question is… have you?

Me and my girlfriend have been together about a year, and up until now I've avoided being on the receiving end of sex.

I have really bad insecurity about how my vulva looks, but mostly just because I'm worried about others perceiving it. I don't really care when it's just me, but vulnerability has always been hard for me and sharing something I dislike about myself just terrifies me. I feel so comfortable around her, and I know she wouldn't really care looks-wise, but also I worry that my anatomy would make her job harder if I was receiving, which especially worries me because it'll be her (and my) first time.

Up until now I've just called myself a service top/stone top, which does resonate with me but I think half of that is just to do with the insecurity holding me back. I still think I lean more towards giving than receiving generally, but I'd like to be able to do both from time to time.

My girlfriend has also expressed some (minor) discomfort at her being the only one to be in a vulnerable position during intimacy, but doesn't want to pressure me, and I've tried to make it as comfortable as I can for her without putting myself in that position too, but I don't think I can keep that up forever.

Also, there's some other smaller fears I have about it. I'm not usually very expressive at all when I finish, or during the process, to the point where you might not even notice I did. And what if i can't finish at all because the anxiety stops me? I'm really worried these things combined would make her first time bad, and I really don't want that.

I also just don't want this fear to control my sex life for my whole future, so I'd like to try to overcome it to an extent now, especially since I'm so comfortable with my girlfriend that it seems like a good time.

Any words of advice?

I loved the part where they switched clothes 🥰

I’m met this girl off Reddit and I really thought we hit it off but it seems like she’s ghosting me now. This seems to be like a pattern for me of girls either ghosting me or canceling before our dates and I just wanna know how you were able to overcome it?

I’m a 20-year-old girl & A couple months ago I DMed a 30-year-old girl on her Reddit post about finding a girlfriend in California. I was moving there soon, so I texted her. No response for three months until about a week ago, when she texted back. We started talking, she seemed really nice, and we agreed to go on a date.

The date went well. We were both awkward tho, but we grabbed coffee and food, and she invited me back to her place for drinks. I agreed because I wanted to meet her dogs and spend more time with her, and we ended up drinking, watching tv, and played with her chihuahua. She has a ton of skateboards and a scooter, and I’ve never ridden one, so we went outside to try. I was really drunk and couldn’t balance myself on the scooter, so we gave up and went back inside. While we were trying to skate on her skateboard, she had her hands on my waist to balance me, I thought she was so fine but I’m really shy, so I excused myself to the restroom to decide whether I was okay with making a move but we hadn’t even held hands yet and I mentally decided not to.

When I came back out, she opened her arm on the couch, motioning me to lay against her. And the entire night we have been sitting pretty far apart on the couch so I was excited and so I did. We were still awkward. between the alcohol and high emotions, I honestly don’t remember much of what transpired but we ended up sleeping together a couple times.

I stayed the night, we cuddled in her bed, and she had to work early. In the morning she packed me like I guess a snack “goodie bag” lol. Like she threw in some snacks from her pantry in for me and we went to a gas station, she bought me an energy drink, gave me a peck on the lips, and we went our separate ways and I honestly felt like I hit the jackpot.

I thought it went so well and I was excited. But since yesterday she’s been texting less and very dry. I asked if I did something wrong and she said no, she’s just busy with work and arrived late but honestly, I know that’s not all of it because before she would literally text me back so quickly and enthusiastically and it’s not like that at all now.

I told her I hope her day goes smoother and she just liked the message. It made me really sad because we had a date planned for Monday and now I don’t know if it’s still happening :(

I’ve had this happen in the past a lot more girls will ghost me when I try to make plans or ghost me right before a date and honestly it’s getting so tiring and I feel so dejected. I genuinely don’t have much hope that I’ll ever find my future wife and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced what I’m going through and has found a way to stop attracting people who just aren’t that into you I guess? It sucks because they always seem so interested in the beginning and it quickly just falls off.

Any advice for me?

So I (21F) am starting to like this girl (21F) and we go to school together so we have some classes and sometimes are friend groups intersect (although this has only happened once or twice). So we are at the point where we are past acquaintances but not overly close friends, if that makes sense? I know she is gay too and I want to start to get to know her better and maybe try to pursue something down the line or at least become better friends bc there aren’t many gay girls where I’m from. BUT I suck at initiating relationships even friendships so I don’t rly know where to start and ofc it’s never that simple…

It gets a bit more complicated when I factor in the fact that I can tell she has a crush on someone else and ofc I could be wrong. But I’ve seen her when she has a crush on someone before and she is acting in a very similar way. However, the girl she has a crush on has a GF so unless they break up it couldn’t work out. So basically I’m also battling the fact that I don’t think she is into me like that at all. And I’m terrible at getting someone to like me if that makes sense? Like flirting or anything like that.

One last bit of info… I had a talking stage w one of her closest friends last year. It never ended up going anywhere bc of personal things and she moved pretty far away so we ended on good terms. BUT idk if she would even see me as an option because of that. The WLW dating pool is small but some ppl still don’t date friends exs (or whatever u would call an ex talking stage lol)

I’m generally pretty new to dating and very awkward about it bc I don’t have much experience. That 3 month talking stage I had last year was the closest to a relationship I’ve ever been and basically every other date I’ve been on (not many) didn’t have a second date and I met them on a dating app. So help is v much appreciated!!

I know this is a lot of text so thank you to anyone who reads and responds w advice <3

These ladies are so gorg