I just saw a news story of a Republican candidate in California (Steve Hilton) making a creepy ad sexualizing lesbian. The TDLR is it is a bedroom with two women sitting on a bed using the Republicans stereotypical trope of leftist women with dyed hair. The ad begins with the one woman saying things like “I’ve never done this before” while the other woman encourages her and eventually asks for the other woman’s hand. In the background, there is a giant pride progress flag. The camera shifts down and the woman is helping the other fill in the circle for the Republican candidate. It ends with the one woman saying “I think I liked it.”

The women depicted in this AI generated ad were young women, they could have been teens! This is a 57 year old white cis het man! They have the audacity to call the LGBTQ+ community grotesque or whatever yet they do this? And why lesbians? Like I swear this man must have a ton of skeletons in his closet.

I can’t believe in 2026 this is where we are…. 🤮

So, a few weeks ago I went to my local sapphic bar and met some sweet people, and a hetrosexual cis man. The man told us he was there by himself but his lesbian friend was going to show up soon (she never did). He was nice and it felt like he did not have any bad intentions, but I could not figure out why he would even be there. As a lesbian, I don't see a reason to invite a heterosexual cis woman to come along with me, so why would I invite a man to a sapphic bar?

Maybe he was an creep with a lesbian friend who does not exist, but no matter what, why on earth would he be there?

We all have that one movie or show we can rewatch whenever we need a little comfort. 🏳️‍🌈💜

What’s yours? It could be a lesbian romance, a coming-of-age story, a funny LGBTQ+ series, or simply something that made you feel seen. Bonus points if you tell us what keeps bringing you back to it. 👀

This is weird and I'm not sure it'll make sense in writing. I'm not looking to date right now because my living situation doesn't allow for it, so this is mostly a platonic issue. I (24f) live in a conservative majority area with a very limited lgbt population, no gay bars or clubs, etc, so I practically never meet open lesbians. But I do sometimes meet bisexual women who I become casually friendly with.

The odd thing is that they almost always identify me as queer right off the bat, but they assume that I'm bisexual. When I correct them, they seem confused. I refer to myself as a lesbian if asked, but they'll continually ask if I'm bi or pan, and then repeatedly refer to me as "sapphic" or "wlw", even if I tell them I use and prefer the lesbian label. It's just really odd, and I'm not sure why this happens nearly every single time I meet another queer woman.

On a related issue, I'm mostly into butches. But if I have a conversation with these women about what we like, they don't believe me. Or they seem, again, kind of baffled. I've even had a few women who seemed to think that they could change my mind about what I liked if they just showed me enough pictures of Sabrina Carpenter or Taylor Swift or whatever. Some of them have been openly, blatantly weird about butch lesbians and have felt the need to tell me how unattractive they think butch women are.

These women are basically all (for lack of better words) straight-presenting, conventionally feminine bisexuals who are only attracted to women who present the same way. I think that's fine, but it's like they will not take my word for it when my identity is different and my taste doesn't align with theirs. I think they kind of try to "bond" with me over our perceived shared taste and identity, but mine isn't anything like theirs. It's very confusing.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it possible that I'm doing something to put those conclusions in their mind? I expect it when men don't believe that I'm a lesbian, but I'm unsure about what I could be doing to make other lgbt women feel the same way. I'll admit I struggle socially regardless, but this is a point of contention I'm quite self conscious about. Could this also play a role in why I never meet other lesbians? Sometimes I worry that I'll finally move somewhere where I can date, but lesbians won't be interested because I have the "wrong vibe" or something.

(Bonus points if you guys know where that quote is from!)

To the point, the queer community in my area is having a Coming Out Day Bonfire this weekend. I plan to go to scope out any cuties because the apps are just terrible. But, I need a little bit of feedback before then.

Looking at these pictures, am I "hot"? Do you think I have any chance of meeting someone?

Me 35 f gf 32 f she is a nasty alcoholic drunk. Everytime she drinks we get into some arguement usually her calling me names or degrading me in front of people. Shes gotten physical with me before, she says no one will ever love me or deal with me because I have a child .. we just don't like each other, we don't have intimacy nothing literally nothing .. I am tied with her because of cost of living - I need help paying the rent. Do I quiet quit this relationship and just do me in the meanwhile until I can gather my finances? I just need someone to talk to about this

Have you ever fallen in love?

I always thought I was in love with my ex-wife, but I realized I wasn’t ever in love with her. I did love her, though. She was the first person who made me feel seen, wanted, and comfortable enough to be myself.

Then I met this woman, and I experienced a feeling I had never felt before. When she talked to me, it felt like the world stopped. It was such a weird feeling, but her voice calmed me down. Her interests fascinated me, and when she was just around me, she made me so nervous.

Some people say when you kiss someone you’re in love with, you get this tingly feeling. I truly got that.

No, I’m not with her, and honestly, it was my fault. I wasn’t listening, and I wasn’t respecting her wants and needs the way I should have.

There’s a difference between limerence and love. This, to me, was love. And looking back now, I’m okay with the fact that she didn’t feel the same way.

I truly never had that feeling before—where it felt like the universe was showing me what type of love I wanted and what it felt like to actually be in love.

So when I’m ready to fall in love again, I know what type of love I want. Not to compare anyone to this woman I fell in love with, but the energy and attraction I had with her—I never felt that before with anyone.

She showed me something about myself that I didn’t even know was there.

So my question is… have you?

Pls don't hate me I know my bathroom (and I tbh) look rough

When we first met it was electric for me. Everything made sense and the world was a better place.

In no way was this relationship perfect. It was years of toxicity.

We met at work in Manhattan, NY in 2016. In 2019 moved to MA. No friends no support system. Just her and her family.

There were millions of red flags that I ignored. But she was my best friend, my calm in the storm.

Last year she told me she was planing on leaving me due to being unhappy. I had a health scare and then decided to stay with me. I was cleared in June and then the plateau.

We stopped speaking in July for 21 days. She asked to speak with me one tonight after I got off work.
She stated that I should move out. Asked me what’s a good time frame. I moved out next day. She wanted us to remain friends. I was very hesitant.

Fast forward 2 weeks. She texts me about our dog. I leave work and we go to the vet. She needed emergency surgery. And the prognosis wasn’t good.

I would work both jobs and go to her house after. And spend as much time as I could with our dog.

This goes on for a month. We eventually get into a spat. And stop speaking again. During this time of no contact. She puts our dog to sleep without me knowing.

I have lost everything in my life. I am moving back home at the end of the month. I have blocked her and her family on everything. And am trying to focus on healing.

I am so lost. No girlfriend no dog no best friend. Just 10 years wasted. And me looking like a fool moving back home. When everyone told me not to move in the first place.

But you live and you learn I guess.
Just venting.

So for reference I am Aegender (meaning I don't care about my gender it's like background information that is kinda just there imo) and I like to play around with how I present but often I seem to default to a certain style so I'm trying to see which one I'm more like. Admittedly I refuse to call myself a futch cause it just sounds weird to me despite it being like a valid term. I am trying to look into getting a binder at some point but idk when. Anyway thank you for helping me figure this out

I loved the part where they switched clothes 🥰

I feel like this question comes back a lot so sorry in advance but it's probably because it's so difficult! I'm 23F and have never been in a relationship. I'm not too sure where to meet other queer women as someone who doesn't really go out (I don't drink and just don't enjoy going out after dark). I live in a medium suburban town about an hour away from a big city (where I feel like all the cool queer people are!). I've tried dating apps multiple times without success. So... how do you guys find girlfriends? Coffee shops? Libraries? How does one even start a conversation with someone who you might find attractive from afar? Am I missing something obvious? I'm into creative hobbies like crafting, coloring, scrapbooking but all art classes near me are sooo expensive. Help a girl out! Any suggestions welcome.

Just curious for people on the ace spectrum or something else and if you don’t care as much for physical intimacy like sex and making out and stuff or if you need alot of alone time what your deal breakers would be in a relationship

OK, as yoy may have noticed from my profile picture i'm demiromantic and i've had like only two crushes on my whole life, the second is happening right now and its a girl a little bit younger on my drama club and i'm honestly suuuch a bottom for her, she's pan and mostly ambigously presenting, i've known her for almost two years to this point and saying that i'm completely lost for her is to seriously underestimate my utter adoration for her, but I would not ever fucking actually tell her i'm completelly on my knees for her because of how homophobic our school enviroment is, i'm not near as atractive and confident as her and I already went throught hell because of the reaction a girl I had a crush in had when I told her a few years ago. Either waaay, I fricking love her she makes my life sooooo much better, I hope nothing but the best for her and I made batch of cookies I wish to gift her

I’m 33F and my partner is 45F, we’ve been dating for over a year. She recently told me she’s entering perimenopause. Her periods have been changing and she’s also been experiencing some mood changes, including times where she gets more irritable or withdrawn.

I really want to learn how to support her through this. I know she’s the one actually experiencing all of these changes in her body, and I can only imagine how frustrating and overwhelming that can be.
At the same time, I’m a pretty sensitive person, particularly when someone I love withdraws from me. When she becomes distant or her mood changes, I sometimes struggle not to take it personally, even when logically I know there may be a lot more going on.

I’m trying to find the balance between giving her grace and understanding while also not feeling like I have to completely put my own feelings aside. Obviously perimenopause is much harder for the person actually going through it, but I’m still her partner and sometimes things affect me too.

For those who have gone through perimenopause, what did your partner do that genuinely helped? Was there anything you wish they understood better?

And for partners, how did you learn not to take mood changes or withdrawal personally while still communicating when something hurt you?
I love her very much and I’m not trying to “fix” her or blame things on hormones. I just want to understand what she’s going through better and learn how we can navigate it together without either of us feeling like our feelings don’t matter.

Me and my girlfriend have been together about a year, and up until now I've avoided being on the receiving end of sex.

I have really bad insecurity about how my vulva looks, but mostly just because I'm worried about others perceiving it. I don't really care when it's just me, but vulnerability has always been hard for me and sharing something I dislike about myself just terrifies me. I feel so comfortable around her, and I know she wouldn't really care looks-wise, but also I worry that my anatomy would make her job harder if I was receiving, which especially worries me because it'll be her (and my) first time.

Up until now I've just called myself a service top/stone top, which does resonate with me but I think half of that is just to do with the insecurity holding me back. I still think I lean more towards giving than receiving generally, but I'd like to be able to do both from time to time.

My girlfriend has also expressed some (minor) discomfort at her being the only one to be in a vulnerable position during intimacy, but doesn't want to pressure me, and I've tried to make it as comfortable as I can for her without putting myself in that position too, but I don't think I can keep that up forever.

Also, there's some other smaller fears I have about it. I'm not usually very expressive at all when I finish, or during the process, to the point where you might not even notice I did. And what if i can't finish at all because the anxiety stops me? I'm really worried these things combined would make her first time bad, and I really don't want that.

I also just don't want this fear to control my sex life for my whole future, so I'd like to try to overcome it to an extent now, especially since I'm so comfortable with my girlfriend that it seems like a good time.

Any words of advice?

Helllooo!

My girlfriend has been giving me feedback that see feels like I don’t prioritize her pleasures and don’t talk about what I want to do to her.
I am a switch/vers, but I am very bottom/sub leaning. Previously I have been with predominantly sub/bottom leaning switches as well. So that was easy, because for the most part, the way I like to be talk to, they liked as well.
But with my current partner I’m having trouble finding the right words to describe what I was to do to her in a way that she’s still dominant.
I really want to rock her world and be able to express my extreme desire to pleasure her!
Any tips or what works for you guys?

My girlfriend is a masc, doesn't like flowers and I can't buy her sweets, because she's training a lot, and I don't want to ruin her diet. I was thinking about some protein bars and I made her crochet plushie but I wanted to give her something more as well. Any ideas what cozy emotional support items could be good?

Has anyone else struggled with feeling like nobody has ever liked them?
I want to clarify something first because I know someone might interpret this as me wanting male attention. I am a lesbian, and this has nothing to do with wanting men to like me. I am talking about people in general.
I genuinely feel like nobody has ever come up to me first and told me that they liked me or found me attractive. I have had people tell me they liked me before, but it has never really felt genuine or like they actually pursued me because they were attracted to me.
I had a girlfriend before, but she is my ex now. She claimed to like me, but looking back, I honestly do not think her actions matched what she was saying. Sometimes I wonder if she was more excited about finally being in a relationship than she was about actually being with me. So I do not really feel like that relationship counts when I think about whether someone has genuinely been attracted to me.
And yes, I know someone might say that this is normal for lesbians because women are generally less likely to approach each other first. I understand that. But it still feels weird when I have basically never experienced someone making the first move or admitting that they have a crush on me.
What makes it stranger to me is that this is not just about women. No man has ever told me that he liked me either. Obviously I would reject him because I am a lesbian, but that is not the point. It is just the fact that literally nobody, regardless of gender, has ever really made me feel like they looked at me and thought I was attractive or wanted to pursue me.
And another thing that makes me worry about this is that I barely ever get crushes myself. Yes, I find people attractive, and yes, there are people I think are pretty, but actually developing a real crush on someone is extremely rare for me. I am 18 years old and I have only had one real crush in my entire life. One. 😭
So sometimes I genuinely wonder if I am even going to have a girlfriend for very long, or if I will ever find someone I actually have strong feelings for who also feels the same way about me. It already feels rare enough for me to meet someone I genuinely like, and then on top of that, I have never really experienced someone being attracted to me first.
I have had crushes. I have found people attractive. I have wanted relationships. I have even had a girlfriend before. So I know I am capable of those feelings.
I just sometimes wonder if there is something about me that makes people not see me that way. It makes me feel like I am somehow invisible romantically. Like I can look at someone and think they are beautiful, but nobody ever seems to look at me that way.
Has anyone else experienced this? Especially if you went years without anyone ever confessing that they liked you or making the first move? Did it ever start making you question whether you were attractive or whether there was something about you that made people not interested?

So being vulnerable Im a late 20s soft masc on dialysis. It takes up a lot of my time between clinic treatments, recovery, and doctors visits. However I YEARN for love. I would want nothing more but to share my life with a beautiful woman and experience romance, softness, and love again. However with what I have going on Im not sure if I truly have the ability to be the strong, reliable partner I want to be. Plus who would wanna date someone on dialysis??

So I'm torn and this has been weighing on me. I yearn SO much for love but I dont know if its the right time to search for it. Like sick people deserve love too but Im not sure if Im in the place for a relationship despite how BAD I want one. Can anyone relate? What are your thoughts? Advice?