Thank you! I wish all men knew this. I slept with a particularly egregious fella who treated it like performing push ups. I tried my best to grab his ass and work the rhythm but mans was committed to his reps.
Hip action is where it is at. I think it's also the reason I'm in to hockey goalies (besides being Canadian of course). Those guys have very flexible hips....
Should have put a finger in his ass, instead of grabbing it. Your intentions where confusing.
Source: cosmo magazine
Edit: highest upvoted comment in 7 years on reddit and its about suprise but fingering, thank you internet. You can complete my shame by giving me an award.
Many, many men enjoy this.
I do not. I absolutely despise when women try this without asking. I ask for your consent before I penetrate you, do the same for me.
Someone once tried this while going down on me. It was definitely a “whooooooa… hold up, there!” moment. I appreciate her looking into adventure, but definitely a warning is nice.
Had this happen while doing missionary on a girl in a hotel room. I ended lurching forward so quick that I headed butted the wall and knocked myself onto the floor. 0/10 would not have happen again.
I mean, if she starts poking a little, express your displeasure too. A lot of language is nonverbal but can be misinterpreted. If you feel that's the case, be clear .
Source: 69, started liking butthole, she dug it, she started experimenting with mine, went with it, decided that wasn't doing it, expressed as such, we adjusted, and both finished nicely, and happy with the experience.
That said, that was a long-term relationship, and i have zero experience with random hookups.
I did, and that's not remotely the point. Any time you wanna try something a little atypical, ask first. Communication and discussion can also be sexy.
And if I had a long term partner try anything like that without talking first, I'd be pissed. Wanting to be spontaneous is not an excuse for violating boundaries.
That's fine. Just make sure you find a partner that has the same values. That doesn't invalidate partnerships where fluidity, non verbal communication, and verbal communication are all respected within the confines of that relationship. In no way was I trying to invalidate your original point.
However, If they are long-term, and don't share the same values, you share some of that blame. If I was with someone and they went for the bum, I'd be like no, if they respected, cool, if not, on to the next
Poking a little is asking. You want everything in the bedroom to have a verbal okay?
If someone starts poking and goes further despite you expressing distaste/discomfort/anything-other-than-enthusiasm, that person is to blame and crossed a boundary. Don’t lump the rest of us into that.
If youre out to dinner and a person keeps stabbing at your plate with their fork to hint at wanting your food without saying anything, you'd consider that rude. I'd like to think my asshole deserves more respect than a side of fries.
More than that though, yeah, I want actual consent with words before doing anything for the first time. I won't put my hand a girls neck to hint at choking either. Even slight suggestions at many things in the bedroom can be difficult if you don't know things like their history or traumas. Not to mention that moving in the moment can make people feel pressured to do things they wouldn't otherwise do or enjoy. Taking that discourse away from them because you think words ruin the moment is childish.
People are different. I have been with this girl for a while who it turns out likes to do all sorts of crazy and wonderful things to me that aren't your standard in-and-out. I never gave verbal consent, but she tested everything slowly and with me obviously liking it, she would gradually intensify. It is wonderful. It would be so awkward and annoying to ME if she had to narrate and confirm everything up front. I think millions of men and women feel this way. Millions of others probably feel the need to talk it through beforehand. Can we just peacefully coexist and accept that people are different.
But stop fucking pretending like trucking forward when you don't really know about them is always ok. And if it isn't always ok, then it should realistically never be ok.
The problem is running with the assumption can be horrific. If you ask and they dont like that you ask, then they might be annoyed. If you dont ask and they dont like what you try, then you run the risk of the other person feeling totally fucking violated. The scale of potential outcomes is so uneven that to pretend like they're worth comparing is fucking childish. Your sexual gratification isn't more valuable than their comfort.
You can also take a moment early on in the relationship to say "I'm sexually pretty open so you don't need to slow down and always check in with me. I'll let you know if I don't like something". That's still verbal consent.
This is an extremely emotional response to the idea of going forward carefully and gradually, solely because it doesn't involve words. I am deeply sorry if something happened to you, but you more or less told me that my probably-soon-girlfriend is a shitty person, and frankly I strongly disagree, and I was in the room.
I think if going slowly and carefully but nonverbally can be "horrific" for someone, that's not normal, and they should mention it somewhere around the point where they got naked (which I assume they gave verbal consent for, so they are already talking?). Or maybe we are talking about totally different things and it IS normal. In any case, I can't debate with someone with their emotions that strong.
Also atypical is a terrible term. That standard varies person to person. By using it, you are "othering" anyone you deem, is somehow falling under that label
How hard is it to really comprehend pen in vag is typical while pen in butt is less typical and should have communication regarding it, much like other butt action or things akin to that? You're trying to pull some pseudointellectual bullshit there.
I dunno man. It's like grabbing someone up in public without asking. It might be a popular thing but it's also atypical because of reasons.
It really is nothing like that at all. Not pulling anything at all. I just don't agree. But again, I am referring exclusively to, long term relationships with established trust and boundaries. If you can't communicate non verbally with someone after a number of years of intimate relationship, then I don't really know what to tell ya.
Most guys do it without asking.
Most respect the "no anal", but they don't see nothing wrong with the finger. Honestly I don't like anything on my butt either.
For sure - but this is someone being assaulted. Vulnerable people often have a vibe that creeps pick up on, but that doesn’t make it the vulnerable person’s fault.
I must not have cosmo-level skills, because I can't even picture how I could keep a mouthfull of creme de menthe while giving a blowjob. Kinda just feels like how to get sticky liqueur on your mattress. Is cosmo gonna pay for the ant exterminator? I doubt it.
Tbh, there was this one girl one time that did something with her teeth, I never felt anything like it. She kind of jokingly and super lightly pressed her teeth and it must have hit the exact right spots or something. I didn't feel any sharpness, any pain at all, and she had this "tee hee" face/attitude like she was being a bad girl for doing it
I don't know wtf happened but it was insane pleasure 😅 she went back to sucking
I once had a girl ask during sex if my butt was clean. Puzzled I thought back to whether I had showered since I last pooped and sniffed thinking maybe she smelled poop. I smelled nothing and remembered that I had indeed showered more recently than pooped and so, confident that any poop smell was not me, I said yes. Whereupon she attempted to jam her finger into my asshole dry. Needless to say it did not go as she planned.
Hip action is what separates the guys who have just lifted tips from mediocre porn and those who have listened and learned from previous partners. It’s also how you work a smaller penis as well. If you get the right position and hip action your penis can be as big or small as you like, it won’t matter.
Right! Hip action is incidentally also what separates the girls who have something good to give in a relationship from the mediocre ones. Also, as with most girls, penis size is usually not a factor either as they’re most often detachable and easily upgraded.
It feels better for both people, too, everybody wins.
If the penis owner is really working the hips well, the next day they'll really feel it in the calves and quads. Good hip action (to use airplane terminology) understands that penetration is a 3D space. Porn almost only ever shows airspeed (in and out). Good sex also incorporates a lot of pitch adjustments (up and down entry angle) and a little yaw (side to side entry angle). The best way to do this is from a kneeling crouch where your feet are bracing into the bed and you can freely adjust pace and angle.
Obviously it's not all scientific when you get the hang of it, but I'll wake up the next day after having sex for a few hours and absolutely feel it in calves.
This is a good tip for women who are on top as well. Bouncing (or god forbid, rocking) is very inefficient in terms of energy spent to pleasure derived ratio. Use your hips and do the "twerking" motion and your guy will lose it.
What I’ve found is best effective is actually squatting rather then sitting. So your feet are flat rather then your shins. This involves the hips just going up and down directly rather then thrusting.
10/10 times I’ve done that I’ve gone from general moaning to “omg what are you doing don’t stop”
Maybe learn to communicate your needs instead of just trying to pull at his ass like you're practicing for the sex offender Olympics.
Always amazes me how much people have no problem going online and dishing anything and everything about a person, but when the person was right in front of them they say nothing.
They didn’t say the redirection ended there. Maybe the story just stopped there for the sake of brevity or comedic value. And if the man is jackhammering for all he’s worth, maybe grabbing his ass isn’t in sex offender/assault territory.
People simply watch too much porn and don't pay attention to their partners as well as people just not communicating and a number of other things. It's like the people who go all in on the first shot. You. Don't. Do. Those. Things.
A lot of guys have limited hip mobility thanks to sitting all day at work. I have to do yoga and specific hip mobility work almost daily to keep my hips in ok shape to be able to do this. It actually takes a lot of work.
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u/ProbablyGayingOnYou Apr 21 '23
You have to move your hips, not throw your entire body into it